CwL Ep101:  Valeska’s story of change 

Lisa Corduff:

Hey, it’s Lisa Corduff. Welcome to the podcast where you can expect inspiring, raw, energising, and transformative conversations with people on the path of personal evolution. I’m here to really live my life. If you are too, these conversations are just for you. I’m really glad you’re here. Enjoy. It was probably what? Five years ago?

Lisa Corduff:

Five and a half years ago that I last spoke to this lady on the Small Steps podcast, and it’s amazing to have her back again. Welcome, Valeska.

Valeksa Waldron:

Hi, nice to be here.

Lisa Corduff:

It’s really funny to think that it has been that long, but I have watched a lot of transformation in you over that time. That podcast was all about how your life had been changing because of what you’d learnt in the Small Steps to Wholefoods programme, and then in the membership, the impact that it had had on you, just simplifying things a little bit, helping you just with anxiety that you were feeling in terms of your day to day.

Lisa Corduff:

Now, I’m sitting here looking at someone who looks totally professional, who is raising her kids in a totally different way to how she was, who has started her own business, which involves so freaking many brave steps that I don’t think anyone who hasn’t done it will just never understand the level of vulnerability, the level of self-belief that you have to draw on and just all the things and, look, centred in herself and far more solid in her being.

Lisa Corduff:

I just wanted to say congratulations on that. I think it’s going to be really great for us today to explore just the process that that took. I referenced the years, literally, because I talk about that too. Like none of this kind of happens in a silver bullet kind of now I’ve got my shit sorted and I totally know who I am and which direction I’m going and my day-to-day life feels smooth and no one complains and I’m happy all the time.

Lisa Corduff:

That’s not life. That’s not even the Holy Grail. I don’t think any of us who are real women even acknowledge that that’s what we are going for. We’re actually going for depth and purpose and a meaningful life, which involves all the ups and downs, but the ability to be able to manage ourselves through those is something that I think we’ll probably talk a little bit about today. First, do you want to talk about Valeska in what? 2019? Is that when you did-

Valeksa Waldron:

Yep.

Lisa Corduff:

… the first round of Ready for Change?

Valeksa Waldron:

That’s it. Yep.

Lisa Corduff:

Where were you? I mean, things had been evolving for you, but where were you at? What was life like? Who were you?

Valeksa Waldron:

Who was I? Right. Well, on a day-to-day level I’d just started back at university … or not back at uni. I’d started going to uni because I hadn’t been before. That was a huge step in transition. I was studying, I was working, the daily kids. This is I guess what was going in on my mind. I’ve got study, I’ve got to work. I’ve got kids’ dinner, kindie laundry, cleaning, gardening, on top of-

Lisa Corduff:

The whole thing. Yeah. Yeah.

Valeksa Waldron:

Yeah. The whole thing. Very much so I was in a constant state of overwhelm just every day just felt like it was sort of spinning into each other. I felt like there was struggle. Every day it was getting the kids to school. I had another layer, I guess, with one of my children not liking to wear knickers or socks.

Lisa Corduff:

Oh, I remember that.

Valeksa Waldron:

That was a big thing. Yeah.

Lisa Corduff:

Yes.

Valeksa Waldron:

That caused me a great deal of worry and upset. I was bringing in my past into that and worrying about what that could mean and how I could fix it for her. That was just on my mind all the time and just feeling really out of balance. Yeah. Feeling just the weight of responsibility and having to do everything.

Lisa Corduff:

Ah, yes. Those were that whole like, “It’s all on me. I’ve got to do all this.”

Valeksa Waldron:

Yes.

Lisa Corduff:

It was a pretty big move for you to go back and study and add that in. I think that that’s something that a lot of women struggle with, is like, is me going to have a crack at something that really matters to me going to blow this whole system up because we are all maxed out but yet we want a little bit more for ourselves, but we just don’t know how that’s going to disrupt the flow of life? You did it anyway.

Valeksa Waldron:

Yes, I did. Yep. I felt that passionate about it I guess that I thought, “No. I need to do this. I need to check it out. I need to see how it goes.” Yeah, it was … And just sitting in one of the lectures in the first week was just overwhelm with emotion, but that didn’t mean that everything came easy.

Lisa Corduff:

No. Well, that’s exactly right.

Valeksa Waldron:

At all.

Lisa Corduff:

No. We make these decisions. We’re like, “Yes, I’m an amazing, brave, courageous, purpose-filled woman in the world.” But actually this is actually really hard. This has meant that I feel under more pressure and I don’t know when I’m going to get my homework done and I am trying to keep all the balls in the air. Is that kind of where you were at when you said yes to Ready for Change?

Valeksa Waldron:

Yeah. I think I just knew that something needed to change. I knew that self-care needed to be up on the agenda, actually on the agenda.

Lisa Corduff:

There’s an agenda and it has zero self-care.

Valeksa Waldron:

Oh, yeah.

Lisa Corduff:

Yes.

Valeksa Waldron:

Pretty much, so it had to be on there and then it needed to be higher on there. I think that’s where, yeah, I just … And I knew something needed to change and so when Ready for Change came along, thought, “Yes, I am.”

Lisa Corduff:

I sure am. Because this ain’t working right now. Yeah. When you did that programme, gosh, I mean it’s a long time ago and a lot has happened since that time, but can you remember some of the things that were a little bit like light bulby kind of moments or things that really landed for you during that time?

Valeksa Waldron:

Yeah. Yeah. I obviously knew this was coming up, so delved back into the memory. I think one of the biggest things for me was that everyone is on their own journey.

Valeksa Waldron:

They have to experience things for themselves and learn their own lessons rather than me trying to … So speaking of my children, I guess in that respect, I can’t have their experience for them or try to, I guess, save them from certain experiences in their life, because then they’re not going to learn the lessons that they need to learn for themselves to make them.

Valeksa Waldron:

I’ve always said I wanted my kids to be confident and resilient and all of those things and the realisation hit me that I was actually probably stopping some of that from happening by trying to go in and save and fix them from certain situations.

Lisa Corduff:

Yeah. It’s a really, really big one because we hold that level of control so tightly. We just want to make everything okay for everyone. I mean, it’s just not like … We can’t actually do that because they are going to have their own experience whatever we do.

Valeksa Waldron:

Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

Lisa Corduff:

How has your parenting changed then on the back of that?

Valeksa Waldron:

I am more accepting I think of what is and come at things from a different angle I guess as far as previously say, we couldn’t get to school and I would get so worked up and stressed. Then frustrated and the frustration would come out in yelling and rushing and then worrying that we’re going to be late and all of that energy in the house as well on top of the yelling.

Valeksa Waldron:

It was felt by everybody and so I think now it’s talking through things and having conversations with my kids and letting things go and realising that it possibly is just a phase and it will pass or … So I think it’s acceptance of what is rather than trying to change what is.

Valeksa Waldron:

Also, having supportive conversations around that with my children, empowering them to make their own decisions and taking responsibility as well.

Lisa Corduff:

Yes. Yep. It’s so refreshing when you realise you don’t have to hold on to a particular emotion or a particular situation and have it completely derail a whole day or a whole week. That you actually can shift that. I don’t know, you talking about inside the house, that energy inside the house, I think that’s what we actually do have control over.

Lisa Corduff:

We can’t change whether someone’s in a bad mood or they’re feeling upset or disappointed about something, but we all vibrate. I mean, I think that training, that bonus training in Ready for Change is so valuable to so many people because it gives us our power back in terms of, well, this is how I can help manage myself and this environment by just bringing it all back down a notch.

Lisa Corduff:

Sometimes that’s hard. We were talking before this started. It doesn’t make that we all these Zen moms-

Valeksa Waldron:

No.

Lisa Corduff:

… who never raise a voice or do something like that. But it gives us our own power back. We’re not victims to everyone else’s highs and lows so much anymore.

Valeksa Waldron:

A hundred percent. Yep. I think it’s also … I’ve learned if I take care of myself first thing in the morning, I’m going to come at things from a different place. I’m not saying I do it every day, but I’m more conscious of the fact the days that I don’t do it, the difference in my energy and my patience and tolerance for things.

Lisa Corduff:

100%. I mean, when Nick lived here, my routine was always to just get up and go for a walk before people woke up. I would do it maybe three mornings a week just to have my stuff sitting next to my bed. After he left and when I was on my own, I kept thinking … I went into that victim state of like, “I’m never going to be able to start my morning feeling good again because I can’t get outside, because I’ve got the children here.”

Lisa Corduff:

When I’m like, “Well, no, I need to take responsibility for the situation. This is what it is right now. If I still want to start my day feeling good, what else? How else might that look through this stage of life?” It turned into listening to a little self-hypnosis, doing some stretching with some yoga or whatever.

Lisa Corduff:

Sometimes I even just lie in bed and listen to a podcast that connects me into the world and I just feel … Especially during lockdowns and all that sort of stuff. I think that’s the thing, if we accept what is, where do we have choice to help ourselves each day?

Valeksa Waldron:

For sure. Yep. I agree with that wholeheartedly. There’s days that I don’t make that choice and I know it.

Lisa Corduff:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Don’t we all?

Valeksa Waldron:

Everybody.

Lisa Corduff:

Also, that then being mean to ourselves or making that mean that we’re suddenly off track. I think that that’s a really important part of Ready for Change as well is like, well, what am I going to also make this mean for myself?

Valeksa Waldron:

Pretty sure I wrote that in the Facebook group a few times, “Oh, I’m way off track.” It’s just like, you have a choice. You can start again tomorrow.

Lisa Corduff:

You can stop making it mean you’re off track. We give things so much meaning, don’t we?

Valeksa Waldron:

Yep. Yes.

Lisa Corduff:

Which we still do. I mean, that’s what we had designed here to do, but we can also give it a meaning that serves us and what we want, if we’re making it all up. What else? Was there anything else during RFC that was a bit light bulby?

Valeksa Waldron:

Yes, there is. But I think I just wanted to say that all of what I’ve just said about children also applies to my husband as well about choosing their own … They’re having their own experience. I can’t try to fix them. I can’t make them change or tell them what they should do. It’s about looking after me and focusing on me and hopefully the energy will change and then … You know?

Lisa Corduff:

Do you feel comfortable talking about the ripple effect that that’s had for your husband?

Valeksa Waldron:

Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. I know he’s talked about it before in a podcast, so I’ve got his permission, I’d say.

Lisa Corduff:

Okay. Yeah.

Valeksa Waldron:

Yes. He used to sort of come home from work and I remember saying to him quite a few times that he doesn’t seem very happy and he just sort of want to get the kids down to bed and then just sit in front of TV. There wasn’t too much going on there and it would frustrate me and also, I guess, sadden me, because I just wanted him to have a bit more joy or zest or … Yeah. Something shifted for him through me doing all of this.

Valeksa Waldron:

I feel that it contributed to it as a ripple effect that at the end of 2019 things weren’t great between him and I as well and he made a decision. He had a choice, I guess. A choice was one way, but he chose that he knew he needed to start taking responsibility and change himself. He went on the path of seeking out some coaching programmes and through that has made significant changes.

Valeksa Waldron:

It’s really quite interesting to look at the people he chose to follow had very similar things to say to Ready for Change and to what you say, Lisa. Now we can talk on a much different level about things and remind each other, still annoy each other, trying to call each other out sometimes or pick up on things, but he’s a totally different person.

Valeksa Waldron:

He’s now studying life coaching and would like to … Yeah. Would like to work with wellbeing and men’s mental health.

Lisa Corduff:

I mean, talk about a 180. If you hadn’t gone down that path for yourself, I wonder if that spark would’ve ever been ignited in him.

Valeksa Waldron:

Yeah. I guess … Yeah.

Lisa Corduff:

So many people and they come into RFC and you’ve done it many times and people are like, “I didn’t know whether I should invest in myself. It feels selfish.” We have a lot of people in the inbox all the time like, “I just don’t know. My family needs this.” I keep thinking every single time you invest in yourself and feeling better in yourself, learning a bit more about yourself and raising your own frequency.

Lisa Corduff:

That’s like a gift. It’s not just for you. It’s for everybody who loves you. Then I always feel like it’s hard for someone to believe until they’ve experienced it.

Valeksa Waldron:

I agree with that. Yeah, for sure. Yeah.

Lisa Corduff:

Also I think some people get like, “Well, what if I grow or what if I change and then what if he doesn’t, what’s that going to do?”

Valeksa Waldron:

I had that thought. In those times, when things weren’t great. It’s just like, “What if he doesn’t come on this journey with me?” You kind of just … I guess I had to let go of that a little bit, because again, I’m not responsible for what he does or doesn’t do. I just had to trust. Saying it like it’s so easy.

Valeksa Waldron:

It’s not so easy in those moments but I knew I was doing things to make me feel good and things were changing at home and within myself that I just needed to keep on that path. But it did. It worked in great ways for all of us. Yeah.

Lisa Corduff:

I mean, I can remember thinking when we were still living in Brisbane and I was at the same point of like, “Wow, I’m just discovering so much, this feels so good. I don’t know if Nick’s going to come along, but I’m just going to keep on going anyway.” It is a scary thing because … Yeah … And look, I mean, obviously my story ended up a bit differently to yours, but that wasn’t due to Nick not actually coming along on the journey.

Lisa Corduff:

He loved learning the things. He loved listening to the podcast, exploring himself trying hard. Obviously there was addiction getting in the way. But it was still the right thing. It’s always the right thing to work on our own evolution and becoming that highest version of ourself, that version that is full and complete and is always there. It’s just sometimes our thoughts get in the way and we can’t see it.

Valeksa Waldron:

Yeah. Absolutely. That still happens. I still have to go back, remind myself. You’re never going to always have the right … these thoughts that are heading you in the right direction all the time. One of my other things that I learned was that shifting my attention as well, the ability to shift my attention and focus. Yeah. I remember one situation when I was out shopping with the kids and they were just getting over it.

Valeksa Waldron:

Normally then it turns into a not very pleasant situation where I get annoyed at them because they’re getting over it, all of these things. In that moment I focused on their patience that they’d actually done pretty good and so I thanked them for it.

Valeksa Waldron:

Because I chose to focus on that rather than them getting over it, it was totally different and we could finish off the shopping experience rather than us sort of probably yelling argy-bargy all the way back out to the car. Yeah. That’s just one example. Yeah.

Lisa Corduff:

I love that. Once again, I always sort of feel like I need to put a caveat on this stuff because I know that there’s people … when you’re really in the depths of mental health struggles, it can actually be sort of almost impossible to shift your attention or when your nervous system’s really, really triggered. There’s lots of things that we can do for ourselves.

Lisa Corduff:

I do also just want to make it clear that this stuff is accessible and available to people who are mentally well. Sometimes there’s more challenging times. Like I’m pretty good at all this stuff. I’ve had lots of practise, I even teach it but even just by the end of lockdowns here last year, I was barely hanging on. I couldn’t shift my attention. I was like, “Well, to what? From one Netflix binge to the next? Don’t ask any more of me mentally. I am exhausted at trying to keep my attention.”

Lisa Corduff:

We had that lockdown of fun and that was where I chose to put our attention and that did really, really well for a long time. There’s also circumstances that can sometimes really penetrate. I think the world is experiencing right now a fatigue that we’ve never really experienced before.

Valeksa Waldron:

Yeah. A hundred percent. Yeah.

Lisa Corduff:

I always just want to put that little caveat in.

Valeksa Waldron:

Yes. Yes. Good. Because I had my own mental health struggles and so at times, yeah, it’s not simple to just flick that switch, I guess, to be able to go, “Oh, I’m just going to shift my attention.”

Lisa Corduff:

Yeah. But do you know what I think the thing is that we can do in those moments is not be hard on ourselves about it. I think that that’s a shift of attention. It’s just a gentle one, but it’s like, “Hey, I can feel myself spiralling here. I’m actually just going to take myself away. If I can, just run a bath, be with this, I can’t control it right now. I’m just going to love myself all the way through it.”

Lisa Corduff:

That’s a huge shift to, “Why am I like this? Why am I here again? I hate when I’m like this. I can never get anything done, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.” Like, “Oh, here I am. We’ll get through this and I love you.” That’s massive.

Valeksa Waldron:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It is about speaking kinder to yourself a hundred percent rather than being down on yourself all the time.

Lisa Corduff:

Right. It’s our default position. So many women. So many women. Yeah.

Valeksa Waldron:

Yes. Yeah. Absolutely. Yep. Yes. I have got another learning, I guess, yeah, that I remember from what we talked about before, me wanting to be in control of everything and be there for everything for my children as well. There was a situation where it was my 40th birthday and some friends wanted to take me away and we organised it and then sudden realisation that it was my girl’s end of year callisthenics performance on that same day.

Valeksa Waldron:

I’m like, “Oh, no, I can’t possibly miss them. Miss that performance.” All the thoughts and all the feelings of guilt and sadness and all of those things, but it didn’t take me long to really feel those feelings and then kind of let it go and go, “Well, it’ll probably be okay.” My husband was overseas at the time and I remember talking to him and he’s like, “Look, I’ll try and learn how to do the girl’s hair.”

Valeksa Waldron:

I’m like, “Okay. I think I might arrange something.” But I had his support. I guess he was on board. Yeah. It kind of did feel like the universe conspired to let me just … Well, I learned to let it go. I organised things for it to happen and I didn’t make it mean that I was a bad mum for not being there for this one occasion.

Valeksa Waldron:

I think that was another key thing, learning to feel some feelings and then not let it mean anything, my actions. The funny thing is after organising all of that, it actually ended up that I got dropped off just in time to watch it at the end anyway. If I’d spent my time worrying about it, it would’ve been a waste of my time away that my friends organised this really nice weekend. Yeah, it all worked out in the end.

Lisa Corduff:

It’s so empowering to know that you don’t have to be a bully to yourself and that that whole bad mom or bad parent, it’s just the set of … We talk about it in RFC, these impossible standards and this idea of perfection. You don’t think about, even just listening to you, the years that you have put in to learning about how to cook better food for your family, how to do all these types of things for your family.

Lisa Corduff:

Then you’re sitting there going, “Well, obviously, I mean, it would be the worst thing. I would be a bad mom laying in the sand. I’m a bad parent because I’m just going to go and fill up my cup for a moment and do something with my friends.” How does that even a one plus one equals two? It’s just not, and yet we believe it. We believe it.

Valeksa Waldron:

Yeah. A hundred percent.

Lisa Corduff:

Wholeheartedly. It’s just like, when you hear it, it does sort of feel crazy.

Valeksa Waldron:

Yes.

Lisa Corduff:

But when we are living it, feels totally normal.

Valeksa Waldron:

Oh, yeah. Totally okay. Of course.

Lisa Corduff:

I mean, last week I was really not feeling very well on the Friday and my daughter does netball on Friday afternoons and so we just did the carpool situation and I was just chilling in bed and she came home and she said, “Well, I’ve got news for you.” Then went off to the toilet. I was like, “What’s the news?” Just thinking she’d let me know that they won. She let me know that they won and the score was one nil and she had scored the goal.

Lisa Corduff:

I was so sad in the moment. I was also incredibly unwell, but I was like, “Oh, I wish I had seen it.” I could have gone down that whole thing of what mama isn’t on the sidelines celebrating her daughter just when the … But I’m like, “Well, if it could have been a different way, it would’ve been a different way.” This was a really special moment for her to come home and tell me.

Lisa Corduff:

That’s the ability that we all have, is to reframe things so we’re not being a bully to ourselves or ruining what is actually just a beautiful moment in her life. She didn’t actually need me there. She didn’t.

Valeksa Waldron:

No.

Lisa Corduff:

It was just like-

Valeksa Waldron:

We think they do.

Lisa Corduff:

… well, like, “Oh, she would’ve looked around. Mommy, where are you?” So that I could give her a high five, but that moment was still special for her. That callisthenics concert would’ve still been amazing for your daughter. It’s us that kind of give it meaning if we’re there for it or we’re not there for it. For me, I was just like, “Oh, man, I wish I’d seen it. That would’ve been pretty special.”

Valeksa Waldron:

Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.

Lisa Corduff:

For me but nothing to do with her. She didn’t think twice about it, you know?

Valeksa Waldron:

Yes. I think it’s that letting go of things too, though, that learning to do that has served me so well moving forward even to where I am now, because gradually I’ve had to let go of more and more things and let my husband step up and he’s gone part-time so I can do more things. Then so therefore I’m doing less things with the kids and just, it was sort of those sort of moments that have prepared me to be able to keep doing the things on doing now. It’s like that foundation.

Lisa Corduff:

What has happened now? What are you doing these days? How has this all … We spoke about Valeska 2022, this version of Valeska, because we’re always evolving. What’s happened for you since that time?

Valeksa Waldron:

Well, so much it feels like. I have started up a business. I work part-time as well, but I’ve started up a business called Delivering Joy where the main offering of the business is 30 days of joy messages delivered via MMS daily for 30 days. It’s for people to purchase as gifts for their friends or loved ones going through tough times.

Lisa Corduff:

It’s just the best concept ever.

Valeksa Waldron:

Thank you.

Lisa Corduff:

I love where it came from. I love the sincerity of your business. I like that the product backs up the philosophy.

Valeksa Waldron:

Thank you.

Lisa Corduff:

But it’s not an easy thing to go, “I’ve got this idea.” Then there’s so much that you have to learn along the way and-

Valeksa Waldron:

Oh, still learning so much. Oh my goodness.

Lisa Corduff:

Same here. How has what you learned helped you keep moving forward when … I mean, let’s face it. There’s still times for me, however many years later, where I’m like, “Should I really be doing this? Would it be easier for me to just go get a job?” I mean-

Valeksa Waldron:

So many times, those thoughts. I think it’s the talking kinder to yourself in those moments has been a big thing, which is what we talked about before, is that sort of self-belief, I guess as well. The way you speak to yourself and the thoughts that you think is what becomes your reality.

Valeksa Waldron:

Without learning those things back then, I don’t think … I just don’t know that I would’ve made that leap to jump in and have that faith in myself to give it a go and know that even if it didn’t work out, that’s okay.

Lisa Corduff:

That is-

Valeksa Waldron:

I was quite a perfectionist previous I’d like to say, previous perfectionist, but probably holding on pretty tight, but thinking I had to have everything lined up first, everything, rather than just stepping one step forward at a time.

Lisa Corduff:

Taking imperfect action.

Valeksa Waldron:

Imperfect action. Yes.

Lisa Corduff:

Because no one’s actually doing it perfectly.

Valeksa Waldron:

It can ever be a hundred percent perfect, at all.

Lisa Corduff:

Isn’t that frustrating, you know?

Valeksa Waldron:

But freeing. Freeing at the same time.

Lisa Corduff:

So freeing.

Valeksa Waldron:

Yeah.

Lisa Corduff:

Now, yeah … I mean, who is it that says … Is it James Wedmore or is it Jim? Someone like that says 70% done is perfect. 100% perfect is never done. It’s like, it’s so true because it’s literally impossible for us to reach some sort of weird standard in our head.

Lisa Corduff:

When you’re getting something off the ground, you just need to be getting stuff out the door, like bang, bang, bang. Okay. I’ve launched a website. Let’s just see how this flies and tweak it along the way, but it can be hard to let go and let it be out in the world without it-

Valeksa Waldron:

Yeah. I think also putting yourself out there and being open to what happens next, regardless of which way it falls.

Lisa Corduff:

Like social media and all that sort of stuff, how do you find that? How do you go with that?

Valeksa Waldron:

I’ve found that pretty tricky along the way.

Lisa Corduff:

But I see you doing little reels these days.

Valeksa Waldron:

Now yes.

Lisa Corduff:

That sort of stuff.

Valeksa Waldron:

Yeah. That’s been-

Lisa Corduff:

Like experimenting.

Valeksa Waldron:

Yes. Accept everything. It’s an experiment. If you look at it that way, then there’s not a failure. You can’t fail. There is no failure. Just lessons. It’s one of my favourite things I’ve learned with you. It’s-

Lisa Corduff:

It’s all lessons. Yes.

Valeksa Waldron:

Yes. It is. It’s choosing the way you’re going to view something. Like, am I going to view it as an experiment and get a lesson out of it whichever way, or am I going to view it as this has to be perfect? If it doesn’t work, then that’s it, it’s a failure and I can’t do it anymore.

Lisa Corduff:

I mean, that’s just everything right there. I think for people who sit on the edge of ideas or for people who … I remember times where I didn’t even want to have people over to my house because it wasn’t tidy enough or fancy enough or something. I remember living in Brisbane just thinking, “Oh, we’ll meet at a park because it’s just so …” And it’s, what a waste?

Valeksa Waldron:

Been there.

Lisa Corduff:

Yeah.

Valeksa Waldron:

Yeah. Yep.

Lisa Corduff:

Like, I mean the people who are really meant to be in your life, no one cares and everyone is in their own version of that in some way. When we drop those standards, those unrealistic expectations, it gives us freedom in so many different areas.

Lisa Corduff:

But I don’t think, and I think this is what Ready for Change is good at, is making people actually see them for what they are, which is some sort of illusion that we’ve created for ourselves that keeps us stop … Like, we can’t move because it’s just … I mean, it’s crushing to action. It’s just going to stop you every single time-

Valeksa Waldron:

I’d say that hundred percent.

Lisa Corduff:

… from enjoying your life.

Valeksa Waldron:

Yeah. Yep. I had huge high expectations of myself, of my family, of everybody really. I think it is that learning to … Yeah. Or just seeing that for what it is. Then yeah, like joy suckers.

Lisa Corduff:

Joy suckers indeed. You are the expert on joy these days. You are. I mean, you deliver joy to people. You also know the power of shifting into that.

Valeksa Waldron:

Yeah. A hundred percent.

Lisa Corduff:

You’ve literally built a business to help people who are going through hard times find joy in their day-to-day life. Like-

Valeksa Waldron:

That’s what it’s about. Joy is not this big grandiose thing that … It’s not this thing to achieve and reach. It’s the little things in your day that you can do that just lift you just a little bit. Yeah.

Lisa Corduff:

Just a little and they’re available. We just need reminders and that’s why everyone should send the people they love Delivering Joy.

Valeksa Waldron:

Yes. Yes, they should.

Lisa Corduff:

Yes, they should. All the links will be in the show notes, that is for sure. Tell me what you’re most proud of in yourself. What would be something that comes to mind the last few years if we were to celebrate Valeska for a shift, a change that has really been quite-

Valeksa Waldron:

Oh, lots of things now. Yeah, no. Perhaps it is that then. I think if I look at everything I’ve even just spoke about, it is that letting go of expectations. We’ve probably rounded all the conversations previously off really well with that, learning to let go. Letting go of this expectations on myself, of my children, of how I should be, how they should be, how the perfect life should be.

Valeksa Waldron:

Yeah. I think that’s the proudest thing is now my ability to let go, step forward as well. Keep stepping forward and challenging myself to keep moving forward in whatever. Whether it’s business, whether it’s home life anyway, just-

Lisa Corduff:

Can we just acknowledge also the example that you are to your daughters and how you changing this in yourself … I feel a little bit teary even saying it, but the Valeska that I interviewed five, five and a half years ago just, incomparable. That your freedom to enjoy life, to try new things, to drop the standards is their freedom to be able to live their life according to their own design without a mom who’s like, “This is not right.” That is in revolutionary.

Valeksa Waldron:

Yeah, it is. Yeah. No, that probably is the proudest thing I see that I can pass on to them. The world’s open to you. What do you want to do? Sort of thing. Yeah.

Lisa Corduff:

Just got shivers when you said that, but it is. I mean, I think our daughters need to see it in action. They look to us and if we’re an example of it, it’s not just words.

Valeksa Waldron:

No. No.

Lisa Corduff:

It’s their reality.

Valeksa Waldron:

Yes. Yeah.

Lisa Corduff:

Like when my mom’s tired, she goes to bed and has a little rest. Like, oh, does she? How amazing. Yeah. Then that just becomes their norm.

Valeksa Waldron:

Yeah. Yeah.

Lisa Corduff:

Well, thank you for sharing. I love your story. I will always be an advocate for Delivering Joy because I think it’s a fabulous product. I think you are an exceptional woman and I know that years ago you would’ve been like, “What?” I hope that you actually, these days receive that and go, “Well, you know, yeah.”

Valeksa Waldron:

Thank you. Thank you for having me on and letting me talk to you about my experience and for your support that you’ve always had for me in any way, shape or form, including Delivering Joy. Yeah. I appreciate you so much and all of your help and learnings and stuff you share, the fact you share so openly to everybody, it really does make a difference because people, like you say, hearing someone’s real life story can have such an impact.

Lisa Corduff:

Yeah. Yeah. I think that’s why I’m doing these stories of change because like the stories are universal in so many respects, but when we hear it from a person, it means more.

Valeksa Waldron:

Yeah. A hundred percent.

Lisa Corduff:

I do think also that at this stage of the game, there’s so many different ways for people to learn about themselves and to get that shift. Sometimes I struggle myself because I’m just so passionate about Ready for Change.

Lisa Corduff:

I struggle to be normal about it and so telling these stories is also a really great way to say, “So this is what I mean. When I’m trying to promote this programme or when you are considering it, this is what I mean. This is what’s actually possible. Listen to Valeska’s story.” Yeah. I’m grateful to you.

Lisa Corduff:

I think other people who are seeking out that … Like what you shared about your parenting, getting your business off the ground, the impact that you working on you has had on your husband and your marriage, and then now the ripple effect that he’s having in the world by doing the work that he’s doing, I mean, it’s phenomenal.

Lisa Corduff:

Thank you. Thank you on their behalf for sharing your story because now they know it can be different. Also just, thanks for being you and sharing today.

Valeksa Waldron:

No, thank you. It’s been lovely.

Lisa Corduff:

Hey, if you want to learn exactly how to start moving through the stories that are keeping you stuck and you want to delve into these self-defeating thinking patterns that so many of us have, then I’ve got a free workshop that you can go and watch right now. In it, I highlight some of the main stories that I see women telling themselves that often lead women into a spiral of self-sabotage.

Lisa Corduff:

You also learn how to let yourself off the hook a little bit more because when you understand how your brain is actually working to create this, then you feel a lot breezier about your life, trust me. In this workshop, you will also start moving towards the things that you want by the end. I absolutely promise you’ll have a new perspective on your next step forward, and that can be in any area of your life where you feel stuck.

Lisa Corduff:

I can’t wait for you to go and check it out. It’s totally free. The link is in the show notes, enjoy. Hey, if you are enjoying the conversation, then it would mean the world to me if you head over to iTunes and give us a rating and review. It really makes a difference. It’s my intention to get as many of us involved in real conversations that really change the game as possible. Thanks so much for your help. I’ll see you in the next episode.