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CwL Ep 136 New Years Resolutions Mistake #5

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This episode is for anyone who is waiting for people or particular circumstances around them to change before they can focus on and prioritise themselves.

It’s for anyone who needs everything and everyone to be OK before they can focus on themselves.

This episode explores why New Year’s Resolutions will continue to fail for you until you fully grasp the role radical personal responsibility has in creating change that sticks.

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Prefer to read? Access the transcript here

Hey, it’s Lisa Corduff. Welcome to the podcast where you can expect inspiring, raw, energising, and transformative conversations with people on the path of personal evolution. I’m here to really live my life and if you are too, these conversations are just for you. I’m really glad you are here. Enjoy.

Okay, I could go on and on about all of these mistakes with New Year’s resolutions because when you actually understand <laugh> what it takes to create and sustain change, you can see that this whole process is a little bit messed up reminding you once again, it’s not about you, it’s the process and it’s okay because it’s what most of us do and what most of us have been taught.

I mean, I remember as a kid, every January dad would sit us down at the table and we would all write out goals for the year and it would involve to save $50 or to win a certain something or I don’t know, whatever it was. And while this absolutely holds value, do you think that by the end of that year I even remembered what I’d said? No. Which goes back to the set and forget vibe. Okay? You need constant reminders for this stuff.

But here is something that might feel a little bit like tough love, but it’s life changing when you actually get it. And for me, I remember my moment of really getting this concept and nothing has been the same since. And that is that I think as well, I don’t even want to say as women because I think this is universal. And I know for me, there was a time of my life where I felt like I needed my husband to be, well. I needed my kids to be older. I needed to have more money in the bank. I needed us not to be renting all of these things. I needed people around me and circumstances around me to change so that I had the perfect conditions to do what I wanted, get what I want, commit to my stuff to feel healthy and well. Everyone else needed to be well and okay and happy, and I had to stop waiting.

You have to stop waiting because there is never going to be a time where everyone around you is okay and life is ticking along so that you have the space and energy to do stuff for you. And when I say it out loud, you’re probably like, oh yeah, obvious. But we don’t actually, we don’t really own that truth and live from that truth. Instead, we are almost a little bit of a victim to it all. And I mean, I know that that’s quite a strong word, but we do lose our power when we don’t recognise that no one else is going to do this for us. We can stay waiting to get all the things that we want to commit to our resolutions in a different way, to upgrade parts of our lives that are really begging for it and us wanting our attention.

But we just keep thinking that there’s going to be another time down the track where this will all be possible maybe next year. And it doesn’t happen. No one’s going to gift it to you. No one is going to say, Hey, everything out here is fine. You go, we have to do us no matter what’s going on. And that won’t happen unless you work from the place of taking full radical responsibility for you <laugh>, for making space and claiming the space and time and your own precious energy for stuff that’s important to you. It’s you who has to prioritise it. Even amongst whatever’s going on in your life.

People often say like, oh my gosh, I watch you and I don’t know how you’ve gotten through what you’ve gotten through. And it’s because I learned this lesson before so much shit went down in my life. I mean, it was all going down. And in that moment I was like, wow. I mean, I got shingles because I put everyone else first all the time. And I wasn’t focused on myself getting enough rest myself, getting the best nutrition myself, getting the rest that I needed. I was making sure everyone else had that stuff, but I wasn’t responsible for my own. And when I realised that I could be, it was the start of a whole new relationship with myself, a whole new level of personal power.

And I think when we set New Year’s resolutions, so many times it’s contingent upon other people changing or making things available for us or particular circumstances changing in our lives. And I think the game is no matter what your circumstances, no matter how people are around you, where can you take responsibility for yourself amongst it all? What’s possible amongst it all? And let me tell you, there’s so much. There’s so much. I see women find this out for themselves and suddenly just make small, simple upgrades in their lives, the lives that they’re currently living. So they start making different choices for themselves that feel good, and they’re taking on this level of personal responsibility to make stuff happen. And suddenly it’s not in anybody else’s hands. It’s not at the whim of circumstances outside of them. It’s, it’s all theirs. And that is a powerful place to live from.

And that is completely possible. And that is exactly what I help women do over three months in the change room. Do not forget it’s your last chance to jump in at the outrageously low price of $297 three months, me in your earbuds every second day. I’m serious because we need the repetition. We need to make things small and actionable. We need to make it pleasurable. We need to do it from a place of feeling rested and okay. And I will lead you and help you try things on, and you find things that work in your life and you will be creating change from a completely different place. You won’t rely on news resolutions that don’t work. Anyway, I hope you’ve enjoyed this series. If you have, make sure to tell friends about it because I think there’s so many women who feel like failures because they just don’t know the simple steps that they can take. They don’t know why the news resolution model of change might be popular, but it mostly, 90% of the time for most people really does not work. There’s other ways to change, and I am glad you are here with me on this journey of figuring it all out together. See you soon.

Hey, thanks for listening to the podcast. I have a quick favour to ask you. Firstly, if you got value from this podcast and someone else who might be interested in listening, it helps so much when you go ahead and share that you have enjoyed the podcast. You can do that on your social platforms or even when you’re just chatting to your friends. I so appreciate that. And the other thing, I know it might take like 30 seconds of your time, but we love reading your reviews of the podcast. You can go ahead and do that on your podcast platform of choice. It really, really makes my day to read them and to know that this stuff is valuable to you. Thanks again for listening. I really do appreciate you being here.

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