CwL Ep114 Information is never the whole answer

Hey, it’s Lisa Corduff. Welcome to the podcast where you can expect inspiring, raw, energising and transformative conversations with people on the path of personal evolution. I’m here to really live my life. And if you are too, these conversations are just for you. I’m really glad you are here. Enjoy. Hey there, it’s been a really full on time as we have finally got The Change Room out into the world and well, I’ve been so thrilled that something that myself and my amazing team have been working away on for a fare while has been so well received. A lot of thought has gone into creating this experience. And you only have a few more days to jump in if you are interested. We’re closing the doors on Thursday the fourth. So if you are listening to this and you missed out, make sure you jump on the wait list for the next time we offer this programme.

But if you haven’t yet, and you want to, I’d love you to jump in. And I want to share with you today, something that really… I heard it and I always remembered it, and it goes a long way to exactly why The Change Room and why this format and why I was also able to be gentle on myself this year because, oh gosh, I’m just as human as the next person. And the quote that I heard, and I know you will have heard something like this too, was if information was the answer, we’d all be billionaires with perfect abs. And over the years, I’ve thought we’d all be… Whatever it is that you think that you want, it’s not that we haven’t read the books or listened to the podcasts or attended the events or whatever it is. Oftentimes we actually have this crazy amount of information available to us, it’s just that when not actually applying it.

When I was teaching about food, it was that exact thing all the time. I’m just going to make it so, so simple. I’m going to make it so simple to make these recipes. Really basic ingredients, not taking much time. But the thing is that sometimes it’s not about the information. I always look back onto my time delivering that small step stuff and I think the reason why people had so much success with it was because it wasn’t asking them for a major overhaul of their life. It wasn’t saying, “Don’t do it this way, do it this way,” which our brains hate us doing, can I just say. It was more like let’s experiment with this, let’s try it out. Let’s not take it too seriously because none of us want to be too serious about life, but let’s start trying things. Let’s take a step. And that’s often all we need to do to create a really radical shift for ourselves.

It can really, really change the trajectory of things. Most of us know what we should be doing to feel healthier or more vibrant, or maybe just feeling more purposeful in our lives. We can sort of often see what’s not working, it’s just that we can stay in that place for a really long time if we don’t make just some sort of shift. It’s frustrating when we feel stuck, when we feel like we are repeating patterns, when we feel stale. I, in 2022, was just feeling like one big long like, how do I get myself out of this? I’ve felt so much better before in my life. It feels like I can’t get going with anything. Then something else hits and knocks me off my perch. And I’ve shared stuff. I remember at the end of last year going live on Facebook, I think maybe I did a podcast episode about it after I’d spoken to my psych.

He’s like, “Lisa, pretty much all of my patients are at some sort of level of emotional collapse. It’s hard to hold on to things anymore in a really manageable way.” People aren’t managing themselves in the way that they used to be able to do. And then talking to friends this year, talking to this community, and there’s just been this huge level of, not this, but I don’t know, I’ve kind of run out of steam. And it’s not like we don’t know what to do. It’s that either we need a little support to be able to do it, or we make the distance too far for ourselves to even get off the starting block if we know the things, why aren’t we doing them? There’s that other quote of like, when we know better we do better, which yeah. Yes and no. I think we actually are amazing in terms of exposing ourselves to a stack of information so we know how to do things better, but that doesn’t actually mean that we do it.

It really doesn’t. I actually think it’s become a really big reason for women to be hard on themselves. “Let’s just give us another one.” But it’s true, right? We have this expectation, because I know that, I don’t know, it could be literally anything, that dairy isn’t great for me, that then every single time I am presented with a delicious oozy Brie cheese on a platter that I am going to refrain from that. Can we be realistic? We’re not robots who we can just programme something in, we’re humans. But there is a way that we can stop beating ourselves and start taking a little bit of action in the right direction. Not totally overhauling our lives, never having cheese again, but just in the way of experimenting, keeping it really, really simple and finding ways, and this is the kicker, to that stuff that we know that stuff that we’ve learned along the way, that stuff, that kind of hangs over our head like a cloud because we should be doing better.

Actually starting to take it and applying it to our lives, but tangibly. I remember years and years ago talking to Alison Davies about anxiety on the podcast, and actually Nick and I interviewed her on the podcast. I know I’ve mentioned this many times before, it was a really big moment for me. He was quite an anxious person. And so for him if our house got too cluttered, it would be really hard for him, whereas I was fine with the clutter. I just didn’t like it to be dirty, I liked cleanliness. But if there was stuff about I could cope. Until she’s like, “Yeah you can cope, but how much better does it feel when you are not having to deal with that?” And so we experimented a lot together of just getting rid of some things, creating clearer spaces, staying on top of stuff, not having things pile up. And of course it made a difference to my mental health. But do you think that always means I’m on top of my house every single day?

No. But after the two years of lockdowns and being in this space all the time, seeing the same things over and over again, you become a little bit desensitised to it until you go, “Oh no, I think I’d probably be feeling better if this space was clear or if this wasn’t around anymore.” Or, “Oh my gosh, I think it’s time. You don’t play with those toys anymore,” or whatever it is. And so I can know about clutter and how it’s sort of overwhelming for our brains. I see my children operating better, playing better. Our house is calmer when it’s feeling organised and clutter free. But I am the one who needs to find ways, really practical ways, amongst my daily life to get on top of it, to create a home that feels really good again. And if we make it too hard for ourselves, if we keep at this thing that we know we should be doing, but we’re just not getting there because it just feels like a massive, massive job then nothing will ever change.

So what if something like that, we brought just some really simple, basic concepts to that area of our life and we just started applying them and we started trying some new things on and we found different ways, new ways to refresh that space, that particular life area? What if you kept on talking about how you need to get back to the gym, something like that, in order to move your body? Which we know we should be doing. I’m in my 40s now and I need to be finding ways that feel good for me to move my body so my body can keep moving and I can keep agile and doing the things that I want to do with my life. But if I set all these crazy standards for what that has to look like before I can just actually build in walking to the bakery to get the lunch instead of driving or something like that, then it’s always going to be this thing that I know I should be doing.

I’m probably feeling pretty bad about myself because I’m not doing it, instead of just experimenting. Just trying on what it feels like to do something, some sort of form of movement. Stop taking myself so seriously, stop thinking that there has to be some sort of outcome from it, and just start playing. Start thinking about ways in which we can take these things that we know… We know that anything that we eat from after 8:00 pm is probably not super helpful for us, but it doesn’t mean that we don’t eat anything after dinner does it. But what if night times themselves just started to feel more nourishing and we weren’t looking for food to give us that hit? What if? What if we realised that we had a choice about what we did at night and we started working from that place? Same with our mornings. Can you see how it’s a totally game changing idea? When you humble yourself, as happened to me this year… I know the things, certainly know them.

I know that there’s also so much I don’t know and I’m open to that. But I wasn’t even applying what I did know, to my life, and I needed to get back to that. I needed to get into practise, because habits are everything. 90% of what you do, you’re just doing it habitually. And I had gotten into some habits, over the last few years, as a result of living in Melbourne, amongst pretty heavy restrictions. I’d gotten into habits because of a lot of sickness and ill health for myself and my family at the start of the year. And I’m not hard on myself about it, it just happened. And I know that there has to be some sort of intentional action taken to shift them. But if we make it too hard for ourselves, if we make it this huge, big mountain that we have to get to the top of before we can feel good about ourselves, we’re just never going to do it. The Change Room was created to be a space where you get supported and prompted with some really tangible, real life strategies and really reminders.

You’re a smart woman, but if you are not applying this stuff, then it’s just going to sit there. What if it was simpler than we thought to create the changes that we know make a really big difference to our lives? We know if we’re getting more rest, life’s going to feel easier. We know that if we start our mornings well, we’ve practically won the day, but it takes bringing our attention to these things in really gentle ways, not flogging ourselves, not thinking everything has to change, but just experimenting, trying some new things on, getting ourselves out of that pattern of feeling stuck, a bit hopeless. It was a feeling of malaise. It was just like I need to do something about this and I don’t have the energy or a huge amount of motivation, but something’s got to change here. And so The Change Room, your space is filled with super simple ideas and ways to apply the basic foundations, of what we know makes a good life, to specific areas of your life that make a really big difference.

Listen, we’re closing the doors in just a few days, on Thursday the 4th of August. And if you want the chance to make these upgrades, these little tweaks, these shifts in your life, to start applying what it is you already know, get support to do that. Just keep it in your conscious awareness because, oh my God, there’s so much else for us to be thinking about. I totally get that. Then I’d really love to welcome you to this space. I know how much it’s going to help you. And we don’t have to live being hard on ourselves for what we’re not doing. Whether you join The Change Room or not, if you could do me a favour, it’s just take that stress away, take that judgement of yourself away. We’re all doing the absolute best we can. So if you want to join my Change Room, I’ll be in there with you for three months, just giving you new things to try on. Helping you apply what you know to the life you’re currently living. And you’re going to walk out of there, feeling like a new woman.

You don’t have to take everything I suggest. That’s not what this is about. Gone are the days of here’s a six step formula to freaking change your life. That’s not what this is about. This is about the fundamentals and giving you things that you can try on and experiment within your life. A few of them, applied consistently, could completely change the trajectory of where you are at right now and set you up for a very different end to 2022. If you have any questions, please reach out because the doors aren’t open for much longer, and then we’ll be diving in with this cohort. I hope you are well, and I’ll see you next week. Are you ready to create some upgrades to your life? If the status quo just is not working for you, it doesn’t matter the changes you want to make. Big or small, you can come and join us in The Change Room, my brand new space for women who are looking to get the basics right so we can live lives that feel awesome.

Come in, strip off what’s not working, learn all about my favourite basics, and then let’s try some new things on together. Over three months, you’re going to be able to upgrade different areas of your life and leave feeling like a brand new woman. Come and join me right now, doors to The Change Room are open. Hey, if you are enjoying the conversation, then it would mean the world to me if you head over to iTunes and give us a rating and review, it really makes a difference. And it’s my intention to get as many of us involved in real conversations that really change the game as possible. Thanks so much for your help and I’ll see you in the next episode.