CwL Ep108: How this one choice changed my day

After a few weeks’ hiatus we are back in Conversation and this week Lisa gets honest about where things are at for her. 

It’s a genuine conversation about the pandemic ‘hangover’, about the complexity of the human experience and how she’s ‘trying new things on’ in an effort to support herself. 

When she found herself feeling a bit dreary about kicking off a new week of work one Monday morning she made a really small change to her routine and – surprise surprise – it made a big difference to how she felt and showed up that week. 

In this episode: 

  • You will be relieved to hear you’re not alone if things aren’t where you thought they’d be at the middle of 2022! 
  • You’ll hear Lisa’s super simple strategy for freshening up your current routine.
  • You’ll be reminded to seek out where you might have CHOICE in a particular situation (and exercise it!)

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Prefer to read? Access the transcript here

Hey, it’s Lisa Corduff. Welcome to the podcast where you can expect inspiring, raw, energising, and transformative conversations with people on the path of personal evolution. I’m here to really live my life. And if you are too, these conversations are just for you. I’m really glad you’re here. Enjoy.

Hey, not sure if you noticed, but we actually took a few weeks off the podcast. As we were deep in sharing all about the latest 30 days 30 ways series. I’ve created two of those now. We created Making Life Easier and we have created Fill Your Cup. So if you want life to get easier, just simplify things down, you can go ahead and grab that anytime. I’ll leave the links for both of these series in the show notes. Fill Your Cup is just all about how to make life feel a little juicier, a little better for you, get you feeling your own cut, prioritising your own needs, because I am sure that you are very busy taking care of everyone else, but sometimes, well, no, all the time, we also need to have the spotlight on us. And there’s so many simple ways we can do that.

And to be completely transparent, we’re also deep in the creating of a brand new experience for everyone. I’m going to tell you why. And then also just tell you something really simple that I did this week that shifted everything.

I mean, I don’t know about you, but it’s the middle of 2022, and what? I thought I’d probably be feeling better in myself. Here’s what happens. Here’s the flow of Lisa right now. And I’ve been talking to so many friends who feel the exact same way and have all sorts of different reasons for why this might be the case. I mean, is it perimenopause? Was it my iron for a while? Is it pandemic hangover? Is it a lack of adrenaline? Is it just that everything’s feeling a bit same, same? Is it that fundamentally we’ve changed? And you know what? It’s probably a whole mixture of those things, but here’s where I’ve been finding myself is I’ll go through these streaks of feeling really high vibe, really connected, easy.

It’s easy to reach out, to organise social things. I feel on top of our weekly routine. And then suddenly things start to get a little bit muddled in my head. There feels like there’s lots of decisions to make. And I almost start to shut down a little bit. And I’ve realised that it’s there’s just a different level of capacity that I have. I have less capacity for getting to that overwhelmed feeling. And I’m having to use some different strategies as well as hardcore go back to my basics.

And I have, I mean, if you’re listening to this podcast, you’ve probably brought, bought something of mine over the years. I’ve created so many different programmes in all types of different areas, and it means that I’ve got this huge toolbox. Right? And I was talking to a friend just recently and we were talking about … She’s actually a psychologist and she’s been having some issues just with her health. And she’s like, “I sort of thought I had this all dialled in. And now here I am learning new tools or feeling like I should know this.” And I must say it was such a relief to hear her say that, because I’m like, “Yeah, it’s kind of the way I’ve been talking to myself too. I know better. Why aren’t I doing better? What is this almost apathy or lack of?” I mean, the lack of decisiveness is real.

Anyway, she’s on a whole path with herself that I found so refreshing to hear about that I thought, “You know what? I’m just going to tell everyone I’m going through the exact same thing too.” I feel like holding it together through all of the lockdowns that something shifted there, but I don’t know where the line was. And now, we’re sort of on the other side. I don’t know if I can say we or I’ll just keep saying I am, but I feel like this is a collective mood. And now, I know that amongst a lot of my friends here in Melbourne, definitely for sure, and Sydney side of friends, even my Brisbanite friends, there’s just this like, “What are we doing? Is this working?” Now, we’re back in it, which systems and structures in our life are working for us and which aren’t? And do we need to let go of some things? Do we need to do new things? More things?

I mean, I was just at a gathering over the weekend, and a couple was sharing about how they just find themselves every night just sitting down getting their kid to sleep and then sitting down and going, “All right. So what’s on Netflix?” And this is what life is, and we don’t want it to be, but we also can’t really be bothered. Another friend shared how she and her partner who have an older kid and some younger ones, but they can be babysat by the older one. It’s like, “Yeah, this week, this week, let’s go out. Let’s go grab a drink, just get out of the house.” And it’s like, “Oh, it’s a bit cold. Oh, maybe we should just stay in.”

And it’s like we sort of know that there’s something that we’re missing, but we are not quite sure what it is. And maybe it’s the way we end our days that’s feeling a little bit lacklustre. Maybe it’s how we start our days. Maybe it’s just that there’s ways that we used to move that we’re missing or that things feel like a little bit of a push in our relationships or our work and we can’t quite find the flow. And if you’re the same as this, I want you to know that you’re not alone. If this has no relevance to you and you’re flying really high and everything is humming and buzzing for you in your life, maybe you can write and let us know, but I can tell you for sure that I am so grateful for my toolbox, but I am having to apply the basics again in new ways.

I’m starting to ask myself different questions. I’m almost sort of self-coaching my way through this period of what feels like a bit of a transition. It feels like there’s something like that isn’t right about the current way that things are happening, but I’m not quite sure what it’s all evolving into. I think that’s probably the best word, even though it’s a massively overused word is that there’s some sort of evolution happening amongst us I reckon globally and that’s a reflection of what’s happening for most of us personally.

We can’t have experienced what we’ve experienced and remain unchanged. There’s definitely changes. And if you found that discombobulating, disorienting, overwhelming, stressful, that’s okay. It’s kind of meant to be. It’s not like there’s some sort of magic pill we can all take to find ourselves on the other side of one of those transitionary periods. But because I am Lisa Corduff, I always feel like there’s always something that we can do for ourselves if we feel in that state of being ready and able. And I can say for sure that there’s been periods of 2022, where I’ve wanted to just shut up shop, hide away for a while, has felt like the easiest course of action.

You might have noticed that we haven’t launched our Ready for Change programme this year. There has been a lot of internal reflections on how I work, the type of business that I want to run, what I can with integrity bring to my work. To be honest, this little period of reflection has also had me looking around and just feeling a little bit vomit in my mouth at some of the stuff that I see online, and I just cannot bear the thought of adding to that noise and being something online that’s all … I don’t know. It just basically often looks like a regurgitation. Everyone’s saying very similar things and there’s just … I mean, I am seeking out the realness, the humanness in where we’re all at right now.

And so what I am creating has taken a while to land because I just feel like I can’t create in the way that I used to create, that you’re different, you’re changed. I’m absolutely changed. I’ve been showing up and sharing online since 2012. That’s a decade of doing the same job, but iterations of the same job and I’m really, really sitting with myself and what feels really good and integral and fun and genuinely helpful. So if you have ever any thoughts on that, on anything you’d like to learn from me or how I can better assist you in your lives, you know you can always reach out.

But something that I wanted to share with you today, because it is always about the simple things that we can do that give us a shift when we need one, just going to tell you straight up. It’s just it’s never the complicated solutions that give us the best feels. It just isn’t. But sometimes there’s far more complex things going on under the surface. So this is the other thing that I’ve realised as we’re having this very open chat from me to you, is that I think that what I have realised is I used to think I understood that humans were complex and now I just really do kind of get that.

I get that we’re all living really different lives. There’s absolutely things that bind us in terms of being human, but there’s also just a million different things that could be going on for you. And so I never want to present solutions or ideas as though they are silver bullet fix it alls. What I am interested in and passionate about is women who can become the light in their own lives. That anything that I share might just give you the opportunity to switch things up for yourself, to get out of that stuck feeling or that status quo that isn’t cool, but you’re not quite sure what else is coming. It’s just that something is.

So one of the things that I do for myself all that time like it’s definitely one of my basics is that I look for choice where it exists. I do this a lot when I get into that state of this is shit. This is shit. It’s all shit. I can’t escape this blah, blah, blah, blah. You know when we get into those zones. And I was actually having it about waking up on a Monday morning and getting to work. I was like, “Why does this feel heavy? Why am I not feeling pumped about it this week?” And it feels like something sort of off. And so I was like, “Well, you know what? I feel like I’m maybe a little bit over my desk, working in my bedroom, which I’m still doing because I moved everything up here during lockdowns and I’m still here, and there’s really nowhere else in my house that I can set up shop, except oftentimes I’ll work from the kitchen table or the couch to just crazy up the vibe. But to do something like recording this podcast, this is the best room for me to be in.”

So I’m just sitting there thinking, “Oh, here I am having to do this.” Well, where might there be a choice Lisa Corduff? Where might there be a choice? And how can you exercise that choice? I thought, “Oh, I could just drop the kids off and work from the café, the cafe where I always get my coffees. But even that I was like, “Yeah, but it’s still the same. Still the same vibe.” I’ll see the same people. I need … Yep. Just a bit over it all. And I thought, “Well, I don’t have to go to that cafe.” I don’t.

And so I took myself off to a cafe that I think I’ve only been to once before years and years and years ago. In fact, I think I was there with Nick. It’s right near where the sky bus leaves for the airport. And I think he might have picked me up there one morning with the girls. Anyway, it’s cool retro tables and chairs and a really good vibe. So just put myself off down there. I phoned a friend on my way and sat and had something different. Like the coffee tasted different. The menu was different. The whole atmosphere was different. I basically feel like I went on a holiday and felt completely refreshed, got some clarity, was able to bang some things out because I was in a different environment.

And there’s all these clues all the time for us if we are looking at where we have a choice. We can exercise that choice and act upon it. Right? But while we are sitting there just like, “Oh, so bored of this, or this is feeling off.” And then just letting it feel off and continuing our frustration. I mean sometimes the things that we do for ourselves and this is what I’m finding, this is where it’s at in 2022. I have all these go-to things that I know help me out when I’m not feeling the best. And even those things aren’t working in the normal ways, even just going for a walk. My beautiful walk that I get to go and see the ocean and feel that refreshing breeze and all of those sorts of things.

It’s like, “Hmm, could this be better? How could I mix this up? I need it to feel different and new, that’s what I need right now for me. Lisa, not necessarily for you. You might love your old familiars. That might absolutely be filling you up right now. But for me, I need to shake some shit up and I’m walking in the opposite direction, and I’m seeing things and I’m hearing things. My senses are being stimulated and it feels good. It’s like that feeling of going on a holiday, right?

It’s such a perfect way to just shake things up a little bit. But unless we recognise that we have a choice and we are practising that, we’re just not going to actually act on it, are we? And so it’s these fundamental things that I’m coming back to and I’m experiencing them in new ways. I’m asking myself different questions. The fundamentals never really change for me about how to shift myself, how to give myself a little upgrade, but it’s how we apply them and if we’re applying them. I mean, I have just felt almost grossed out by some of the very almost masculine ways in which I would expect myself to be working.

And I scroll through socials and see other people applying these things and getting the results in their business or in their lifestyle. I’m like, “It’s not working for me right now.” So I’m going to go back to what works for me, the questions that I need to ask myself, the basics and apply them in some new ways. And I have a feeling that there’s lots of us who need help with doing that. And that is what I’m actually busy creating for you.

Because things have shifted. We have shifted. And I can tell you for sure that when I speak to women online at the moment, there’s this dissatisfaction, a tiredness and overwhelm that almost feels way more than it used to. Because I’ve helped people with overwhelmed for years. And it’s so thrown about now, that word. It’s like, “We know what it means, but we’re experiencing it in a different way.” And I think we are also expecting a lot from ourselves at the moment when there is evolution happening.

And to be able to create space for that amongst everything else, it’s actually quite challenging for a lot of people. It’s challenging. That’s been my challenge. Like, oh, I feel something like there’s this internal scream of, “Oh, something is shifted. I can’t go back. I don’t know what I’m going forward too. What’s happening here?” And then I just take one of my basics. I look for choices where I have some and I work from a funky retro cafe. I almost weep with the just deep exhale that gives me and the spring in my step. And sometimes, most of the time it can be as simple as that.

So maybe walk in the opposite direction to the way you normally walk or call someone who you haven’t spoken to for ages or sit in a new direction in your office. Clear your desk, change up your environment somehow, do something that’s different to the way that you normally do it and just see what happens. Just see.

I’m going to be sharing a few more things over the next few weeks about these basics. And then I’m going to be sharing with you something really, really exciting that I can’t wait to invite you into. It’s been a while since I’ve created something this fresh, and it has taken a frustrating amount of time for it all to land and to feel like this is the thing that’s going to help us ride through 2022, this next stage of 2022 together. But I think you’re going to be excited. I’ll share more, very soon and enjoy sitting in a different cafe for your cup of coffee, let’s mix some things up. See you next week.

Hey, if you feel like you’ve tried all the silver bullet approaches and read all the books and podcasts and you still find yourself treading water a little bit in your life, then I want to let you know that there’s something brand new that I’m creating that is going to flip the lid on the way that we create change in our lives. I don’t know about you, but things right now have to feel a little bit more fun, a little bit lighter, a little bit easier, and still take us where we want to go. I’m really excited to be sharing more about this with you soon so you’re going to have to stay tuned.

Hey, if you are enjoying the conversation, then it would mean the world to me if you head over to iTunes and give us a rating and review. It really makes a difference. And it’s my intention to get as many of us involved in real conversations that really change the game as possible. Thanks so much for your help and I’ll see you in the next episode.

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"I’m here to help you break free from the stories holding you back, and create change that sticks"

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