Ever asked yourself one question that, when you sat with it, illuminated things that had not been seen properly before?
Or a question that makes you think “why didn’t I see it was this simple?!”
The question that Lisa shares and unpacks in today’s podcast episode may very well be a defining moment for you.
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Prefer to read? Access the transcript here
Hey. It’s Lisa Corduff. Welcome to the podcast, where you can expect inspiring, raw, energising, and transformative conversations with people on the path of personal evolution. I’m here to really live my life. And if you are too, these conversations are just for you. I’m really glad you’re here. Enjoy.
Hey. Welcome to another episode. Before we dive into this week’s topic, this question, that I can’t wait to share with you, I just wanted to remind you that if you’re listening to this on Tuesday, it is the final day to get our Mother’s Day Super Special of our self-study version of Ready for Change. This is the programme that will help you shift your stories, head straight to the subconscious, and you actually figure out what is holding you back from living a life that actually feels enjoyable to you to live.
I mean, instead of all the surface stuff, we go really deep, and you really uncover stuff that will blow your mind. You get a really practical framework to follow, to spot stories that you’ve started to believe as truths, and create stories that actually serve you.
This super powerful programme has changed thousands of lives, and it is ready and waiting for you to change yours. Get access via the link in the show notes. And if you have missed out on the Super Special, never fear. You can still purchase Ready for Change, or you can wait for our next live round. There is no stress around here. We are all about making your life easy. All the details are in the show notes.
Okay. Let’s jump into today’s topic. And I tell you, I was asked this question. I’ve been doing twice weekly kinesiology since December to help me shift some things. And gee, it’s powerful stuff. But there was a question that was asked in a session recently. And I just thought, “Wow. There it is. There it is, this really, almost something like a spear, that cut through something in me.” And when I heard it, I just knew I had to share it with you.
We’re talking about things that can feel heavy sometimes in our lives, or specifically working a lot on business-related stuff and work and career and that sort of thing. It is a group of … for people who are entrepreneurs. But I do think that this is relevant to everyone because I immediately thought about this, in terms of my home life. Some of the patterns that I’ve started to create in our weekly routine, maybe can easily be used for food that has kind of crept into your pantry that maybe you’d prefer wasn’t there, relationships or patterns in your relationship that don’t feel great, but they’re just kind of there.
And all of these things are holding you back from creating something that you actually do really want. And when she said this thing, I was like, “Oh, yeah?” She said, “Why don’t you just decide not to do the thing that’s weighing you down in your business?”
Hmm. All right. And then our mind starts to fight for it. “Oh, because I mean, I have to because blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.”
So, let’s look at this, in terms of a context. Think about something that really does make you feel a little bit heavy. Maybe it’s even a friendship. It’s someone you know. And you think that you’ve got no choice. You’ve got to see this person. And could you just decide not to? Could you decide to put up a boundary? What about that thing that you keep eating? And every day, at the end of the day, you’re like, “Oh, once again, did that thing, ate that thing.”
What if you just decided not to do that anymore? Just decide. Decide you’ll get your kicks somewhere else, because that’s the thing sometimes isn’t it? I mean, I know definitely what was coming up in this group for people was, “But that’s where I earn the profit in my business,” or “But that’s … “
Well, why don’t you then just decide to make it somewhere else? Hmm. What say you of this concept? Because we actually have quite a lot of choice in our lives, and this is something that I’ve explored time and time and time again.
And I know that sometimes we don’t have choice about certain things. This isn’t about that. This isn’t about certain obligations that we have. No. It’s about what we keep choosing over and over and over again that we actually don’t have to, but we’ve created some sort of truth for ourselves about the fact it’s something essential. What if you put a question mark over that, “Is it? Is it really?”
Even think about your social media feed. Just, how does it make you feel if you jump on? Maybe you get a notification, and someone’s tagged you in something, and then suddenly you’re there, and you’re having a scroll. And then you end up coming off, just going, “Ugh. The world is an awful place,” or “People are awful,” or “I am a piece of shit, compared to all of those people who are amazing.”
Whatever it is, really drill down and find out, “What actually triggered that response in me? What about this information that I am allowing into my brain, these images, these words, that I am allowing is giving me this feeling? Maybe I need to just decide to clear out my social feeds, stop following people or places.” Decide to remove the stuff that’s weighing you down.
Is it as simple as that? What do you think? What comes to your mind, I wonder. For me, immediately, there are a few different things that came to my mind. But I also know, and this is the work that we do inside Ready for Change, that sometimes we don’t even know how we came to a place of tolerating what we’ve been tolerating, allowing things, accepting that life is meant to feel heavy or that we’re meant to feel overwhelmed all the time, just accepting and allowing what is actually not okay, that we’ve stopped using our voice in certain situations.
And a lot of the times, that stuff it’s sitting at a subconscious level. We’re not consciously doing it. We’re not consciously going, “What I’m going to do right now is continue to stay quiet on this, even although it’s actually taking me so much energy not to speak my mind.”
Because it’s coming from some sort of belief, some sort of subconscious story, I call them, that we collected over the years, that … I mean, it could be anything. It could be that conflict is bad. Conflict leads to danger, could be something that sits there for you. Maybe it’s just that it’s better to be seen and not heard. He took that on when you were a kid. He’s still playing that out right now, and it’s stopping you from speaking your truth.
Maybe it’s just that you have a story that you don’t know how to articulate yourself well. Or maybe you were embarrassed once when you were younger, because you spoke up and were ridiculed and, ugh, the pain of that is just sitting there. Subconsciously. You’re not totally aware of it. There’s a reason why you’re not doing the thing.
So, I loved this question. “Could you just decide not to do the thing that’s weighing you down?” Could it be as simple as making a decision and stopping doing it? Just stop. And I think to myself, “Yeah. There’s some things that I could absolutely just stop.”
But if we want true and lasting change, it’s always more than just words. We either have to build a habit around it. Keep it really front and centre. And I talk about this a lot inside Ready for Change.
We have these neural pathways. We have these ways in which we think. We have what I sort of think of as a well-worn pathway, that pathway our brain just loves to walk. It doesn’t take any energy for it to go along with the same old reaction to different situations. Oh, it just feels easy, whether it be speaking badly to ourselves, or questioning ourselves. That’s the easy route. We’ve been doing it for so long.
If you want to shift that, it actually requires keeping things front and centre and creating new pathways for your brain. It requires work. And it’s possible, but you have to know the tools, and you have to be prepared. It’s not affirmations. It’s not just like saying something over and over again, and suddenly it’s true. It’s actually a little bit more than that. And it’s way beyond this podcast episode. And if you want access to Ready for Change, as I said, you can go and get that.
Because it’s that stuff that ends up sabotaging us. It’s so important. Just decide and then use your tools. And listen. There is so many of them around. For me, I have just found it completely changed my life in a fundamental way when I realised a lot of what I was saying to myself was bullshit. A lot of the reasons why I wasn’t doing things, or I stayed silent, or I stayed in relationships, or I accepted less, or I stuck out, overwhelm, as a lifestyle, as I found all the stories around motherhood and what that means, absolutely stifling sometimes.
And I haven’t experienced anything that has changed my life more than two things: taking absolute, radical, 100% responsibility for myself and how I’m feeling and making it no one else’s job to fix me, save me, give me something, outside of myself. All that stuff just is … It’s not the game. And as long as you keep waiting for that, you are denying the inherent power you have.
You are really, really powerful. And I’m not talking about being strong to get through things. I’m talking about you are a creatrix. You are creating your life, with every thought you think, with every word you say, you’re creating it.
When you really get that, when I really fully got that, if I was complaining about something in my life, well, whose job is it to do something about that? It’s mine. It’s my job. We don’t wait for other people to change. We don’t wait for other people to come and do things for us. We decide. We take full responsibility. Game-changing concept.
And then, when I started looking at all the things I would say to myself on a, literally, an hourly basis, and I started putting a question mark over some of those things, “Why am I in this plateau?” I felt my life was at a plateau when I started learning all about my subconscious because I started thinking to myself, “If there was a way that I could have shifted through this, I would have bloody done it by now, because I’ve been doing … reading all this self-development and personal growth, and all of that sort of stuff.”
There’s something else at play here. There’s something else going on because this is really frustrating. And I’m not a person who likes sitting around. I want to get straight to the juicy stuff. I want to go above and beyond. I want to live in a world that is a reflection of the pure potential and possibility that I am, that we all are.
And it was a game-changing moment for me when I realised, “Oh, all of the shit that I believed was true, was actually just stories that my subconscious collected over the years since I was born,” a lot of them before the time I was seven, that have been just silently sitting there, allowing me to do certain things for sure, but the stuff I really wanted, the next-level things, the life of joy and peace and abundance and just happiness, just felt elusive. And it was all sitting there. It all made total sense when I figured out what it is that I teach inside Ready for Change.
So, I want to encourage you, so much, to just decide to not do the thing. And then the first things that come to your mind, the first little thoughts that pop in when you’re like, “Yep. Lisa’s saying just decide not to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.”
And once again, I’m not talking about just the everyday things, “I’d like to just decide and never to try and pair socks together ever again,” which I have actually made a job for my children. I’m talking about those sorts of things, talking about the stuff that weighs you down, that you just keep allowing, and you could just decide to let it go and trust, trust that something else better is going to open up.
What is that thing for you? What might happen if you said no to the thing that was weighing you down, that you created a boundary, that you created more space for yourself? Maybe you’re going to claw back some precious time for yourself. What if you just decided not to jump on your device anytime after 8:00 PM, if it doesn’t make you feel good? If it does make you feel good, go nuts. Do you know what I mean? Those sorts of things.
And then whatever comes up for you about the reasons why you can’t stop, or you still need to do it, take note of them and just gently put a question mark over them for yourself. Is it really true that you can’t?
This is the kind of work that we do inside RFC. And if you want access to that self-study programme, go get it. It could, it will, because it has, for so many women, really change all of the expectations that you might have about what your life needs to be. It’s pretty powerful, and it’s sitting there waiting for you.
In the meantime, what are you going to just decide not to do anymore? See you next week.
Hey. If you want to learn exactly how to start moving through the stories that are keeping you stuck, and you want to delve into these self-defeating thinking patterns that so many of us have, then I’ve got a free workshop that you can go and watch right now. In it, I highlight some of the main stories that I see women telling themselves, that often lead women into a spiral of self-sabotage. You also learn how to let yourself off the hook a little bit more because when understanding how your brain is actually working to create this, then you feel a lot breezier about your life. Trust me.
In this workshop, you’ll also start moving towards the things that you want by the end. I absolutely promise you’ll have a new perspective on your next step forward, and that can be in any area of your life where you feel stuck. I can’t wait for you to go and check it out. It’s totally free. The link is in the show notes. Enjoy.
Hey. If you are enjoying the conversation, then it would mean the world to me if you head over to iTunes and give us a rating and review. It really makes a difference. And it’s my intention to get as many of us involved in real conversations that really change the game as possible. Thanks so much for your help. And I’ll see you in the next episode.
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