CwL On the Road Ep 4 – The three sayings that got me over the line

Before we head off for the grand adventure. And I wanted to share with you 3 things that I was saying to myself that really helped me get over the line when it came to making this big decision. Because I got a lot of reasons why maybe this wasn’t a great idea. We can convince ourselves of anything, can’t we? And so There was 1 thing in particular that I did keep on thinking about and I think this comes Anytime that we’ve experienced the loss of someone that we love, anytime we’ve got a sense of our own mortality, That whole Yolo, which is you only live once acronym, was just pounding, pounding, pounding in my head. Like, what are we here for if not to take a few risks and adventure and really grab life. Having lost Nick when he was 40 and anything can happen at any time. I get this year of my life once. My kids get their childhood just once.

And I kept thinking, Yolo, It’s all gonna be okay. It’s all gonna add to our lives. It’s definitely not gonna detract in any way. But then there was this other term that I heard that I really, really loved and just was speaking to me at exactly the right time. And that was this concept of chaos magic. And if you followed along for any period of time, you’ll know that a lot of my programs, a lot of the work that I have done on myself over the years has been attempting to move myself from being this really sort of chaotic, disorganized person stuff flying everywhere to having a sense of order in my life so that I can be an effective parent so that I can run a business and operate in the world. I needed to bring really sort of simple ideas of organization and stripping things back and simplifying stuff so that I am not in a constant state of overwhelm because chaos can often mean overwhelm. And I’m really so pleased with the little systems that I’ve put in place in my life even though I’m kind of anti-that a lot of the time.

I mean, we all need to live in this world in some way, and I’ve found ways to manage myself. I I help women do that. You can go into the change room, and a lot of that is about really simplifying things and creating a level of manageability in lives that can feel quite chaotic. But there will always be an element of me that thrives in spontaneity. Likes throwing things up in the air appreciates a little bit of chaos because I know that from that, magic is created. The way that I see it, you’re juggling lots of balls. You end up just throwing everything up in the air. And you’ve got no idea where it’s going to land, but you know it’s not gonna feel the same as juggling all the balls in the air and trying so hard to control what is often completely uncontrollable.

And you know it’s gonna be different on the other side, and you don’t necessarily know what that’s gonna mean or look like. There is something that is forged when we throw it up in the air, when we create a little bit of chaos in our lives, I was feeling completely flatlined this year. Off the back of a really strange 2022, which I think I mean, I don’t know, but so many people in the world have experienced. And I heard this term, chaos magic, And I thought, yep. It’s time for me to create a little bit of that. I’m ready to get gritty. I’m ready to throw it up in the air. I’m ready for something.

And I can’t even attempt to be controlled about this. It’s not calling for control. It’s actually calling for a little bit of chaos. And it just turned me on so much. It helped me trust that you can book some tickets and get your family on a plane in a very short amount of time, and that might just be the magic of the whole thing. Ever since I made the decision, I have felt energized in a way I really, really haven’t for a while. And the last thing that I was saying to myself all the time was why not? It was wonderful. All the reasons my brain gave me to just not do this thing, Here, Lisa, this is why not.

And I’d look at all these reasons and just be like, it’s just No. It’s not enough. It’s not enough of a reason to say no to this. We will always Always. Because of the negativity bias in our brains, our brains just desperately want us to stay safe and do the same things day after day after day because we want to survive and live. Anything that’s asking us to step outside our comfort zone is really, really tricky for our brains. I talk about this a lot in the change method. But we have to circumnavigate that sometimes because we end up trapping ourselves with all of our fear.

And some of that fear is right. Sometimes things are genuinely dangerous. And not the best choice. And other times, it’s just our brain’s playing tricks on us, trying to keep us safe. When, really, it’s not justified. We have to be able to answer the call and When I looked at this list of why not, nothing was life or death. Everything was just future casting and getting into worry. And that’s okay.

It’s good. It’s good for me to have seen all that, but why not? Good. Why would I really not do this? Is there really a good enough reason to stay put and say no? And there wasn’t Time and time again, I would ask myself, is this good enough? Is this a good enough reason not to? No. I don’t think it is. They are the 3 sayings that got me over this line into a big fat yes. Yolo, you only live once. Sometimes we just have to take life and live it in a new and exciting way because that is what the moment is calling for. And then give ourselves permission to create a little bit of chaos magic.

I might end up feeling like I invited a bit too much chaos in, but I am still even although this lead up is chaotic. It is also energizing in the best way. I can’t even describe it. It’s fun. And then why not? Like, quite genuinely, why not? Is there a good enough reason not to? When there’s so much stacked up on the let’s do this side. Getting honest about what is genuine fear, genuine things that we might have to consider versus all those sneaky ways. That the stories that we tell ourselves about why we needed to keep on doing what we’re doing, what we’re doing, what we’re doing, what we’re doing, what we’re doing. Oh, it was time for that to end for me.

And so why not became a really powerful question? As I really stared down these reasons and couldn’t find 1 that was going to be the reason, why not? So I wonder if any of them resonate for you right now? You know, is there something that’s calling you? Is there something that is saying, hey. There’s this thing over here. And you need to circumnavigate the noise in your head. All of those reasons may be other people’s opinions. You do only live once. You can give yourself permission to create a little bit of chaos magic and see what happens on the other side. And if there’s not a good enough reason why not, then maybe it’s a yes. See you soon.