CwL Ep49: The Secret To Unlocking More Of What You Want In Your Life – with Julie Tenner

Lisa:

I am so excited to be staring at the face of the delicious Julie Tenner. Hello, Julie.

Julie Tenner:

Wow. Thank you.

Lisa:

You are. You know you’re gorgeous.

Julie Tenner:

Correctly how I feel like, “Oh, I could lose myself in those eyes of yours. Yes keep talking.”

Lisa:

Surely. Need to practising on each other. Julie I mean, I’ve known your name for a lot of years cause you’ve been doing Nourishing The Mother podcast for a long time.

Julie Tenner:

Six years.

Lisa:

Six years?

Julie Tenner:

Six years. I know. I can actually hardly believe it. It’s a really, really long time. Bridgie and I met at playgroup when I had just given birth to my third.

Lisa:

Stop.

Julie Tenner:

Yeah.

Lisa:

That’s cool.

Julie Tenner:

We just had the raddest conversations and we were both podcast addicts. Like we love podcasts and we’re like, “Oh one day, one day we should one day.” And then that opportunity came up and I was like, “Oh no, no, no, no, no.” And she was like, “Yes we are.” And so we jumped on this podcast thing back in the day when it wasn’t even really a thing in Australia, like at all.

Julie Tenner:

And just to have read conversations, to find other women in the world who wanted to speak about the things that we wanted to speak about. And all of a sudden we found this gathering of women that were just spectacular humans wanting to have exactly the nuanced conversations we were having and Nourishing The Mother became a business. But out of something that for a year was just a way for us to find a voice when we were so invisibilized in the experience of motherhood.

Lisa:

It’s amazing. It’s a huge achievement to also stay committed to something for that long. Let’s be real. In a world of shiny objects. I mean, you’ve really stayed committed, but things have also evolved for you. And there’s other things that you do as well. And I really connected to you. I think it was when I started to talk on my Facebook page and stuff about the discoveries I was making about the world of the divine feminine. And I was talking about this and I had started to really head down that path of being surrounded by people who talked about feminine and masculine energy and so much was illuminating for me in terms of the zone I’d been in for so long in my masculine and how I was having to shift and change to allow myself to rest.

Lisa:

And then someone actually tagged you in one of my posts. “Do you follow Julie Tenner?” And I was like, “Who is this Julie Tenner? Oh, it’s Julie from Nourishing The Mother.” Went over to your page, saw that you’d launched a book, ordered the straight away #beautifulpackaging of that.

Julie Tenner:

Thank you.

Lisa:

Oh my God. I was just like what is this?

Julie Tenner:

It was really important to me. Yeah I sat there one night with a gathering… You’ll love this. We sat there one night with the gathering of mums just my local mum friends with wine and cheese board, and we all sat there wrapping these beautiful books in ways that were deeply meaningful to me to have flowers on it. And the symbol on the printed paper was an artwork that had been made by another beautiful mom. Like it was just the whole thing. I needed it to be beautiful because women are. So you feel something when you experience beauty and that’s what it should be.

Lisa:

Well you kicked off the party for me. And in fact it was just probably two days before it arrived. About two days before I had booked in a night at a hotel for myself to just get away from the children. So I was reading your book in a hotel bar.

Julie Tenner:

I saw your party start.

Lisa:

Did you?

Julie Tenner:

I was [crosstalk 00:04:05] “Oh my God there’s your book.” I’m like, “Oh my God.”

Lisa:

I want everyone to go… so the name of the book we tell them is called Flowers In A Honey. And the byline is The art of relationship, love and desire. And you know, I opened the pages and I don’t even know what I was expecting, but it absolutely blew me away. It’s a beautiful read. I think I fall in love with you on the pages as well as fall in love with myself and women in general. And the whole thing was just getting the juices flowing.

Lisa:

And I wanted to give people a little sense of some of the things that you say. And I just thought I’d grab a few little bits and then you can just talk this out a little bit because… You know what? Let’s do this because this will probably give us an entry point to talk about what you mean when you talk about feminine and masculine energy.

Lisa:

Because I do think that there’s still a lot of confusion about that. And even just knowing it, knowing it from the way that you speak it is illuminating in itself and we’ll give people. This is one of the things that you said. You said “You are a being of amplification. You are the amp of life.” Tinkles even just reading it. “Every time you amplify, make it feel even better. Turning the dial up. You discover you are a sensual genius, go explore it. The more you feel, the more energy is flowing through you and from you. The more the universe and everything you desire is towards you, including your man and the type of attention you crave. The more you flow, the more ecstatic, vital and magnetic you become.”

Lisa:

I mean, do you know, I love this because I speak so much about just the basic value in feeling good and honouring yourself and here you’ve said exactly why.

Julie Tenner:

Yeah. I think as you’ve already said, I love that what you’re steering women towards is how do we amplify our experience of life and self and love and pleasure? And what is it that you want from this life? I love that, that’s where you take the conversation because we are designed to feel pleasure. It’s designed to feel good. And the trick of the feminine is that if it’s feeling good, if you are feeling you are in your feminine, but our society is trained in the opposite way. We’re taught. That feels good it’s probably wrong. If it’s not painful or no pain, no gain. If there’s not a level of suffering and forging forwards, you’re not going to get anywhere.

Julie Tenner:

So we start to mistrust our own body. We have patriarchal systems and history that doesn’t trust our feminine body. That says, “No, no, no, that’s not true. What you’re feeling is inaccurate. Forget intuition, forget gut feeling. Because if it’s not rational, if it’s not known, if it’s not predictable, if it’s not static and the same, every single time I see it, then clearly there’s something wrong with that.” And so we learn it in so many ways. We learn we’re too much, we’re not supposed to feel. When we feel love is removed. When we feel life is unsafe for us in some or many ways. That the people around us can’t handle us, that they’re removed from us.

Julie Tenner:

So we stop having needs. We stop having people around us who desire to meet our needs. And we ourselves often won’t share them with others because the story that we’ve grown up with, or the narrative that we’ve embedded in our own nervous system is that it’s not okay for us to have needs, or if we do have needs that somehow we’re punished for them.

Julie Tenner:

So I think it’s easy to toe the line unless it’s known in my mind and make sense on a rational level, but that’s the way I should take it. And I think it’s harder to say I’m willing to take the path that not many take that says I get to feel good. I get to have a life that lets me feel and a body that opens with pleasure. And that when I do that, I become the force of magnetism that calls towards me that, which I desire. I don’t need to be the hero who goes hunting for the golden fleece because I’m the goddess and the golden fleece will arrive to me. It’s a completely different way of communicating in your life, I think.

Lisa:

It’s a completely different way of being. It’s a completely different shift because we’ve all been brought up with that set your goals instead of recognising, you feeling good is the goal and when you feel good and when you’re honouring your own needs able to express them, you will have the things. But it’s like, we think the answers are outside us. And what I think your book does is it reminds us that we’ve got it all.

Julie Tenner:

Yeah, always.

Lisa:

So in saying that, can you just give a little rundown of, and contextualise this conversation in terms of these masculine, feminine energies?

Julie Tenner:

Definitely, I think even the word energy can be a bit ambiguous and lose a few people. So let me just dial that down just into even, let’s just talk about it in terms of science and really basic. We know there’s protons and electrons. We can scientifically prove that energy exists in the world and that negative energy, or what did I just call it? Electrons. Electrons will always seek protons. Protons will always seek electrons. There’s a level of chemical stability that happens when we attract an equal and opposite force. That’s what our entire systems of life are created upon.

Julie Tenner:

So we know there’s negative and positive charges and they will always seek the equal and opposite to come into a state of balance and equilibrium. So positive and negative energy occur within different people to different degrees. And depending on your particular mix of those degrees of masculine and feminine or negative and positive, we could call it pineapples and oranges. It wouldn’t matter. It’s just a word that we’ve attached that tells you a certain archetype or way of being or belonging to the world. We know positive attracts negative, negative attracts positive, and that they create a completion within them. Not that a partner completes you, but that there’s an energetic magnetism that completes itself in a cycle where we get electricity, we get excited. We get acts of attraction. There’s a completion when two forces come together like a magnet, two ends of a magnet, you can’t keep them apart. They want to come together, always.

Julie Tenner:

So masculine and feminine energy. The words and feminine don’t mean anything about gender. They don’t mean anything about genitals. They don’t mean anything about sexes. Don’t attach feminine means women, masculine means men because it absolutely does not. This applies to LGBTQI relationships. This applies just to anyone and anything within our world, completely irrespective of whether you identify as male or female or any other version that feels really self identifying and fulfilling for you. It’s completely irrelevant in terms of masculine and feminine energy. We have both inside of us to different degrees and we attract our equal and opposite outside of us. This is the law of attraction. We have an energy inside. It attracts an energy outside. We change the energy inside. It attracts a different energy outside. We are just continuously in a proton electron connection, magnetism force of attraction.

Julie Tenner:

So what I love about this work is that yes, we can say feminine energy is more representative, or is the word that we’ve chosen as an English language or a construct that of course originated from Eastern philosophies around the sensual rounded aspects of nature and world. The feelings, the states of being that are electric and ecstatic, the pleasure in the body, the ability to receive into you, anything to receive money, to receive love, to receive attention, to receive someone else’s energy into your being. It’s the art of receiving receptivity, sensuality. All of our five senses. What we take in from the world, the feminine is our abundance force. It’s the pleasure and the matter of this world.

Julie Tenner:

Counter opposite to that is it’s equal and opposite, which is the masculine set of traits and attributes, which has everything about logic, vision, future purpose, structure, problem solving, goal achieving, rational linear ways of being and belonging that existing consciousness. So the masculine is consciousness. Part of us might identify with that as soul. That which always was, and always will be, that which has vision for the future and continues to live in aspect of that. And the part of us that’s feminine. It’s in the present moment, that’s feeling it, that’s loving in it. That’s experiencing it. That’s full of body sensations. That part is the feminine.

Julie Tenner:

So when we shut off the feminine, we lose the ability to experience bodily pleasure. We lose the ability to receive. We lose the ability to be deeply nourished, present, and fully able to give our fullness in the gifts of our love or how we love others and how we receive love in return. And we start to suffer from that. We start to dry up and develop hard meanings in our body. We lose our fluidity, our youthfulness, if you like our supplements, it disappears from our mind and from our body and from our house and in aspect from our soul. So I think I’ve rambled again. Pull me back in Lisa.

Lisa:

I’m like just keep talking, Julie, this is just… I really love this and to give a really cool example. I think you gave this in the book or was it when I was interviewing you in the change I can’t remember was about those early years of motherhood being a particularly a time where we are in our masculine a lot of the time. And because I’d like to just talk about that is how we lose it. So how we lose that side of us and things can become dominantly masculine. And we don’t even know that we’re there and we don’t know how to get back. And it’s not a bad thing that we’ve been there because it’s like that stage of life requires you to get up in the morning, move through your tasks. And I love the example you give too.

Lisa:

For the masculine, the goal is nothingness, that the goal is to just like be done. And whereas the goal in the feminine is like more, more, more better. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Keep coming, keep flooding. Yeah. Yeah. Whereas I think so many moms can absolutely go, “Oh yeah, I’d get to the end of my day. I don’t want to… Yeah, I remember when I stopped watching 7:30 report and all that stuff, I don’t need anything more in my brain. I just want nothing because I got through this day.”

Julie Tenner:

And so I think we often get confused by that because mothering is one of the cycles within the sacred feminine, maiden, mother, crone. And I think it often gets misconstrued with what that means when we’re talking about the energetics of the skillset that’s required. So the skill set that’s required in mothering is a masculine art form. You have to have vision to see the future of you and others. You have to be able to lead yourself and others through multiple tasks, through multiple missions, through getting everyone just in bed and where they need to be throughout the entire day, fed nourished, cared for.

Julie Tenner:

When you are caring for someone else rather than receiving, when you are taking of them, holding space for them, meeting their needs and providing in any way that is a masculine art form. Feminine would be the one that’s like, “Let’s play Lego till we’ve had enough and then who knows? I don’t know what’s for dinner. I don’t even know.” Whereas that’s just like, “My God, that is my worst nightmare. If I got to five o’clock and I’ve now got tired kids who are ready for bed and I haven’t planned dinner? It’s my worst nightmare. So I’m going to plan the shit out of my day so that I don’t get to that point where I’m so overwhelmed. My nervous system is flooded and now I can’t get anyone anywhere.”

Julie Tenner:

So we will continuously ask ourselves to feel less, to empty, to have a more regulated and distilled if you like nervous systems so that we can perform the tasks that motherhood requires us to perform. Now, of course, it’s nuanced. There’s going to be flows in and out of the feminine, of course. But if we continue to run that mass, now we’re running a household. Then the finances, then the dishes, then the house, then we’re running the husband. Then we haven’t stayed still. We don’t even allow ourselves to sit down until the dishes are done and all the jobs are done. And we’ve decided that our value is now based on how many tasks we can tick off on the list. And if we didn’t miss one of those tasks, our value is now worth nothing. So we better get that task done.

Julie Tenner:

Like it just completely reroutes what our sense of fulfilment and self is in that. And I think that that is a great hurt. I think that is an ache to never really feel seen, to never really feel known or touched or deeply met. I don’t know that we know what that is when I’m running in our masculine. That’s the feminine to feel seen, to feel touched, to feel dissed deeply known by another human. You actually have to be still enough and open enough and in your body feeling enough for that to happen. But if you’re not any of those things that simply isn’t the energetic match that you’re going to call in.

Lisa:

This is just so interesting because I’m listening to this through the lens of where I’m at right now in my life, which is experimenting with this thing beyond my marriage. So I can hear how things were going in my marriage, how in my masculine I needed to be to get through, I mean, three kids in four years and a husband with complex needs and really chaotic environment. I was right there and now-

Julie Tenner:

You can’t lose yourself. Because if you lost yourself, what would happen?

Lisa:

I was holding it all together. And then when that ended, and then I just unravelled a little bit, someone came into my life and I was able to explore this particular side of me. It became like, it’s almost like a game. He wouldn’t know that, but like where I get to. He taught me as well, he’s like… I mean, I can remember him saying one time, “Just lie down and just to stop doing stuff and let me do this. Can you just receive?” And I was like, “Oh, what do you mean? But truly, there’s something I must be doing right now for you. And your pleasure.” He’s like, “My pleasure is your pleasure. Just quieten down, stop.”

Lisa:

And it has been this extra practise. In fact, I took a screenshot of something that he said recently that I wanted to share if this was brought up. And it was hang on… He said, this is what we forget is the gift that we are when we are just here for pleasure and joy and we’re open and we’re being this different version of ourselves or playing around with it. It’s always moving in and out. And he said, “I love your smile and your smell, the way you laugh, your sunshine. And it’s that sunshine, in this.” It’s like, “I don’t know if my husband saw the sunshine of me when I was so in that zone, I couldn’t bring it for myself or for him.” So I just wanted to share that because I think that’s what… They don’t even know why the attraction, they don’t even know.

Julie Tenner:

I mean even hearing that message is medicine I think for so many of us. Because for so many of us, we’re not sure does that exist really? Really? No really your pleasure literally is his pleasure. The greatest turn on for a man is your being in your pleasure. And the greatest turn-on for a woman is being the object of that desire. That’s salivation that like, “Oh my God, you are magnificent. Please let me wish it, but your altar.” So I think we forget and are taught out of, conditioned out of how magnificently beautiful we are.

Lisa:

And this is what I’m passionate about with women too, is like, I can see now that it was always my job to find it in myself. And first, I think that we can all actually do that. We owe it to ourselves. Why move through a lifetime without exploring that? No matter if you’re partnered or not partnered, like-

Julie Tenner:

Damon, I think it’s from Damon tiny. He says this great quote around, “You need to govern yourself or the world will govern you.” So you get to choose whether I’m in charge of my life and what I experience, or if I choose to acquiesce that for all of the reasons that I say are in the way of me claiming that, then someone else dictates what my life’s experience will be. And I was never a woman that’s followed that well.

Lisa:

No. And in fact, this is one of the quotes from your book that I wanted, that I had dog-eared there’s about 75, but you said, “To live in your feminine energy is to feel into your sovereignty. It is not to be perfect or succulent all the time. You are not one sided. It is to be devoted to your heart first and foremost, and to be aware of your energy. And it is to remember that a queen never rules alone. She can do hard and great things with a support crew. Please find the women who will fan your flames and support your journey into embodied living.”

Julie Tenner:

I want to cry even just hearing you read that, so thank you. What a pleasure.

Lisa:

Oh you wrote it.

Julie Tenner:

But it just breaks my heart. I’m like, “Yes, I think we are so pitted against each other culturally. And that, that is reinforced and ingrained. And yet the greatest teachers and fan is of my flames of my own desires and my own experience of my own sovereignty and discovery and all of the things were women.

Lisa:

A hundred percent. It’s actually funny to me. So when Nick and I first got engaged, we moved to Sydney and we were there alone. My sister was there for a year or two. And so we raised… We had all our children away from family. I made some beautiful friends while I was away, but they weren’t the peak, but some of them were, and I’m still connected to them. But I looked to him to be everything to me, it’s like a recipe for disaster. And when shit started to hit the fan and things, it’s the women who gathered. It’s the women who held me through really hard times and reminded me who I was. And like a love that fan the flames. Because now if I need that, I know exactly who to go to. I will never…

Julie Tenner:

Women will see you clearer than you see yourself

Lisa:

And what a gift? What an actual gift. And yet we sit there like, “My man he’s not.” Is that to be his role?

Julie Tenner:

Yeah, no, is it to be his role? A hundred percent. I think that we’ve got to be willing to outsource what the relationship itself is not equipped to provide at this point in time, knowing that also you get to have everything you want, but there’s a process of evolution in that. Though, with what you want thing right now but he isn’t. You’ve trained him to not give you that thing right now. And there’s a level of untraining him that’s going to take some time. And while he’s being untrained, you don’t have to sit there missing out on that thing. You get to self empower it and find it for yourself. So you are no longer dependent on the world, other humans, outside of you, in order to feel your own fullness. You cannot ask your partner to give you something you do not know how to give yourself. You can’t say, “You never validate me. Are you validating you? Do you see you?

Lisa:

Every single time I ask myself, I’m like, “I’m not getting something or that, well, hang on a minute, whose job is that? It’s my job to give it to me first.”

Julie Tenner:

[inaudible 00:27:35].

Lisa:

And yeah. And in fact, this was, that’s so funny that you brought this up. This is another dogged page. If you hold back your truth, you keep him in the dark. This is about the training. This is about like where we found ourselves. And I think this is important because I think when we get into these conversations, it’s like, “I don’t have to change in order for him. He’s got a blah-blah-blah come to the party.” So you said, “If you hold back your truth, you keep him in the dark. He can’t know what he can’t see. You are always training your partner to respond or not respond to you. Which are you choosing heart truth or smooth pond?”

Lisa:

And I mean, that spoke to me. “Don’t make the mistake of deciding he can’t meet you. If you’ve never shown him your truth or skilled him up on how to. Men stay in the dark when women keep them so.” I love this so, so much. And it’s because I was a sweeper under the carpet and I value… Last night, for example, my kids were with my best friend and we went out to dinner with my boyfriend and… I don’t think he realises how stressed I am at the moment. There’s a lot on, there’s a lot of big things happening. And so I just said, “I’m not, I can’t make any decision whatsoever about this situation.” He’s like, “Well, let’s go.” I’m like, “You just decide because I’m decision fatigued.”

Lisa:

So he decided where we went. He told me what time, he ordered the drinks. He ordered the food. He held the conversation because I wanted to be with him, but I was a bit maxed out. And he wouldn’t have known to do that. And I could’ve just been like, “Why doesn’t he make a decision? Why do I? But instead I just actually was like, “This is where I’m at right now. And he just did the things.”

Julie Tenner:

Isn’t that amazing?

Lisa:

And then came back here and before the kids arrived, had sex. So perfect.

Julie Tenner:

That’s really beautiful leading of him too. It’s clear. He has a beautiful cultivation of his masculine that he can lead. I can make the decisions and lead you through those in a way that feels really good for you. That’s a really beautiful masculinity and how glorious that, that allows you, the equal feminine freedom to be like, “Oh, and I get to feel it all and just like be in the box. Oh, here I am. Hello you that I forgot I had a body and a ass and desire my body cause I’m running all day.”

Lisa:

Yeah. It was like plugging myself back into an electric socket. He actually didn’t need to do anything. I just needed to have it. This is the thing about the experimenting with it. Well, and that’s why I love your book because you actually provide even the words to use at the end of the book. You’re like, “When this comes up, try saying this, see what happens.” And I love that you do that. Have you received good feedback from people about them putting that into practise in their life?

Julie Tenner:

I think it’s always clunky when you first start it. And I think depending on how much masculine energy your partner has. So if you are a woman, let’s say we’re just going to take a heterosexual relationship, please apply as it’s your relationship dynamic. You are a woman who’s running hardcore in her masculine. You lead the relationship. You make the decisions about house and home and life and what we’re spending money on and where we’re going and what direction we’re taking. And you always plan everything, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Because he’s not capable. He’s not able to he’s too flaky, all the things. So you’re in your masculine all of the time, you will attract an equal and opposite partner. So largely he’ll be in his feminine. Most of the time, he’ll like to go with the flow. He’ll be really good at playing with the kids and not thinking about dinner and not seeing the toy he just stepped over or that dinner even needs to be thought about or prepared for. Because this is a living, you don’t want to sit on the couch and I’d like a more loving in you.” You’re like, “You haven’t fucking done anything all day.” “But I’m right here. I want to just look.”

Julie Tenner:

So if you have a man who’s hugely in his feminine, doesn’t like decisions. Doesn’t like rules doesn’t know how to lead. Likes you to do all of that stuff for him. It’s going to take some training time for him to learn how to make the decisions. For him to learn that, that’s going to be okay with you rather than someone who was in your and goes, “You know what? I just can’t make any decisions for that.” He’s like, “Okay, but I just want to please you. So do you want to Thai?” And you’re like, “I don’t want to make a decision.” “Okay, Chinese?” Like he can’t make that decision yet. So there’s going to be a level of discomfort for both of you while you reorient, you learn how to not make the decisions and lead. And he learns how to lead and make the decisions. There’s an equal practise because you’ve trained each other perfectly.

Julie Tenner:

So there’s a period of discomfort for both of you until it gets slippery, slick, super smooth. Holy shit didn’t know this man existed. That happens, but you have to be willing to move through some periods of discomfort and shake out all of the old stories in your body that set up those ways of being and belonging in the world to begin with. Because we only create strategies because we have to all have had to in our life, they’re not irrelevant. They were not needed. They were. But if you want a different type of relationship to the one you have right now, it requires a different skillset. That’s already is. You don’t have to do any of it. But if you want a different reality, you’re going to need to try some different ways of thinking.

Lisa:

Yes. And so I know that we don’t have much long left and I just feel like there might be women going, “Okay, this is speaking to me. I can see some stuff.” So aside from getting your book after this, if someone’s like, “Yeah, I’m in that masculine most of the time, what does it mean to experiment with my feminine?” What might be something that they could try like tonight, tomorrow, this week to just start to feel more?

Julie Tenner:

I think you’ve just said it. Just try feeling more. It’s just about coming back into your body and being able to speed up the recognition that you have between I’m feeling something. “Oh, I’m feeling something. Oh, what am I feeling? Can I put words to it? Because when I name it, it’s like a child now with a name, it has a presence now. Oh, I’m feeling tired, uncomfortable, angry. Oh, I want to be loved right now.” So just starting to recreate the neuro pathways between, I am feeling rather than the disconnect and the slicing off of the neck, because whatever happens in the body is like, let’s just cool that down and not listen to it at all, because it’s better when we don’t, That’s old, that doesn’t work if then you want to have this deeply feeling, seen, felt experienced relationship and sexuality.

Julie Tenner:

It’s a different skillset. So retrain your neural pathways to be in touch with your body and what it’s feeling in every moment that you want to practise for. You might choose. While I have my cup of tea, I’m really going to notice what I feel. Can I name it? Can I sit, move, breathe, speak in a way that then makes that feel even better because that’s being the amp of life. That’s when you literally have this body and essential skillset. It’s innate in you, you’re born with it to be able to turn the dial up on that energy and people outside of you feel it. That’s why everyone who listens to you plugs into this podcast and plugs into your spaces because they feel something different. When they plug into your energy, your spaces, your containers. That’s not an accident. That is a well cultivated, feminine art form that you’re choosing to go and worship at the altar for.

Julie Tenner:

I go to a concert. I choose to, I feel something when I listen to that person’s music. I feel something when I’m around this friend and I feel something different when I’m around that one. Yeah, because that’s their feminine frequency. And the moment you feel something in your body, it’s like you have an opportunity to birth that into the world. And anyone who needs that gets to experience that as it overflows from you, that’s a gift. There is no good or bad right or wrong. They’re human attachments. Or there is, is energy. If right now what’s needed is anger beautiful. Because when you put in strong boundaries, you let people know how to love you. And then they can love you better. And you get to feel full of life and energy. If you’ve been really tired, there is nothing like anger to XYZ your system, to give you exactly the energy that you’ve been praying for. There is no good or bad right or wrong. All there is energy. And how much can you be in motion with that rather than you play at cool, he thinks you cool.

Lisa:

Oh, Julie. And I could literally listen to you talk all day. Literally could, you should just do that. Just be like on live somewhere for 24 hours. That would be very depleting. But you speak a truth that I think is so relevant for women as a collective and where we’re at right now, which is like plugging back into our selves. And I think more and more women are wanting to do it. More of us are feeling off track like where we don’t know how to find our way. And you’ve just given us a beautiful first step to take. So I hope that everybody who listens to this goes and buys your book and we will have links for everything in the show notes and also experiments with that, naming their feelings. What a beautiful place to start. Thank you for joining us, Julie.

Julie Tenner:

Such a privilege. I really appreciate it.

Lisa:

I appreciate you. And I’ll speak to you very soon.