CwL Ep 129 – What’s your Christmas ‘Story’?

Hey, it’s Lisa Corduff. Welcome to the podcast where you can expect inspiring, raw, energising, and transformative conversations with people on the path of personal evolution. I’m here to really live my life, and if you are too, these conversations are just for you. I’m really glad you are here. Enjoy.

All right, we have here December, and I wonder how you are feeling about that. I want you to keep your eye out. I’ve actually creating something for everybody totally for free, because what I see happen at this time of year and what I have felt myself so many times is just this. It’s almost like we forget all of the things that we know we need. The rules that we live by are around this time of year and everything gets frantic. Things get like we let go of doing some of the things that we know are great for us. We buy into completely unrealistic standards for what our output might be. At the end of a year, we get into comparisonitis a fair bit. We might think that we need to have as fabulous. I mean, go goodness. I put a few lights on my balcony, <laugh>, then that’s it.

If your street goes nuts it might be the most joyous, amazing thing for you to be a part of, or it might be a really big stress. We have to just be conscious to when we start to trip into unnecessary overwhelm at this time of year. And so today on the podcast, I thought I would just pose a few questions for you and really encourage you to think about your story of Christmas. So the thing is that we go into this time of year on kind of a festive autopilot. We are conscious that there’s things that we’ve done many, many times and we just do them again and again because we’re not actually consciously choosing anything different. So our amazing subconscious brains have just stored away what Christmas means, what our story of the festive season is. It might be family fights, it might be hangovers and overindulging, and it might be, but it might be also the absolute best time of the year.

But then falling on your face on Boxing Day and then needing a week to recover from what’s just happened. <laugh>. And I think it’s important to remember that most of us do have more on at this time of year most of us are already depleted and drained and don’t have a huge amount of energy. I mean, it was the biggest learning from that survey on women that I did was about the level of tiredness that women are feeling. I mean, it really was mind blowing. And so then we’re like, okay, but now let’s gear it up a notch <laugh>, and then we forget that we really do need to be getting those hours before midnight or all of that sort of stuff. And that’s why I think people who have people who’ve been through the change room this year have built up some new habits. We have to do it incrementally.

We should not expect ourselves to turn into something completely different overnight. These little tweaks to maybe just how we do our mornings or what our nighttime routine is, or the types of foods that we’re eating and stuff like that, things that do take time, that behaviour change that you really do need to take slowly and embed over time, you end up feeling the effects of that at this time of year because you are starting at a different level. I’m really proud of everyone who’s been through the change room this year and is going into this time recognising where they’ve got choice, prioritising their own rest, prioritising what feels good to them. I mean, it’s completely different, but I know there’s lots of you who’ve listen, listened to the podcast, who haven’t been in the change room and aren’t a change crew member. And the change crew is basically, it’s a membership for women who’ve done the change room, who were like, excuse me, Lisa why is this ending after three months? <laugh>,

I don’t want this to end. And so it’s our community space. And this December we’re focusing on a December of ease and joy. And we are just trying on the different basics that I teach in the change room and we’re applying them to December to bring more ease to this season and obviously more joy. What are we here for? If not to have a good time. So in this podcast episode, what I’d like to do is encourage you, I’m going to step you through the very first process in the change room. And this also incorporates a lot of the stuff. If any of you guys have done Ready for Change you’ll understand that we, these subconscious stories, we have a story about what Christmas is going to be before we’ve even gone into it. Our subconscious stores, all that information, and we kind of end up on this autopilot unless we choose to change it.

So the first thing that happens is, is that when you enter the change room, you’re encouraged to strip off. Of course, that’s what we do in a change room. We got to take off what’s no longer working, what doesn’t feel good anymore what doesn’t fit anymore. And I wonder for you what that is. What are the elements of this festive season that you’re like, no, I’m done with that. It might be done with credit card out of control by the end, it might be done with you falling in a heat when you finally get on holidays because you’ve just worn yourself out throughout December. It might be feeling like you have to attend every single thing that you’re invited to because you don’t want anyone else to feel bad, but you are waking up every day, exhausted the weekends, don’t feel relaxing.

Sipping my coffee, <laugh> as I record this. Do you spend too much time hungover? Are you drinking too much in the festive season? Do you have to have a drink at everything that you go to? If you are someone who drinks alcohol, we’ve got to get conscious to what we want to strip off what no longer works for you because you do have choices amongst it. There are absolutely, I know for sure obligations and things that we want to be a part of willingly, and also things that maybe don’t feel ideal to us, but we make a choice to do them for family reasons or whatever. But there’s so much choice if you look for it in the festive season. And I think, oh my goodness, at that some point we have to grow up and realise no one else is living our lives. No one else is making us do things.

We are choosing them, and we are better women when we work from that place. It’s why choice is one of the key basics in the change room that you try on week after week after week, because it’s just such a empowering place to live from. But I get that most of the time. And there was a time in my life where if someone was like, you’ve got a choice about this, Lisa, I would’ve stuck my finger up at them and told them to get lost because it didn’t feel like that to me at all. But it’s very passionate about choice. So once we’ve stripped off, then we get to create a new story. What do you want December to feel like? What do you want to experience more of?

How do you want to feel every single day? And of course, feelings change in, it’s not about pure excitement and happiness and joy and exquisite pleasure every single second of every single day. But if you could craft this because you can, it’s your story, you craft it. What do you want to wake up every day and create in December? What are the things? What are the ingredients? What are you going to try on? Are you going to try on sticking with, you know, might have a exercise regime that you love? Maybe it’s a morning walk, or maybe you go to the gym, maybe you do Pilates, maybe you have a meditation practise that you do and it love it. You look forward to it. Maybe you journal. Maybe you are just a really big book reader, but then sometimes you just stop doing these things when everything’s ramping up. But maybe you could try on staying committed to the things that help you thrive your best this festive season. That might even be to do with the foods that you eat.

It might be how you start your day. Maybe you have this amazing morning smoothie that you make, or I don’t know, whatever it is, a granola something. Maybe it’s the fact that you’ve started to eat lunch and you feel so much better and you’re not snacking all through the afternoon when you actually have a good decent lunch. Double down on those things right now. It’s so easy when things are starting to, the to-do list is getting ridiculous and you’re feeling pulled in all directions and you can get lost in your head to stop those beautiful grounding, nourishing practises that help you. It’s actually time to really make sure that that doesn’t fall off. And I bet it’s things that don’t take up extra time. It’s just don’t let your energy be spent on outside of you at this time of year. It’s so important to remember yourself, honour yourself, take care of yourself throughout the festive season, right? Have a go. Trying that on for size. I wonder if you maybe want to try on saying no to some things. I mean, how does that feel for you? Are there things that you are being invited to or an expectation that you need to even host certain things? And maybe it’s feeling a bit much

And maybe people might feel disappointed, but at some point, once again, we have to own and take responsibility for ourselves and be able to learn to say, Hey, I don’t think we’re going to be able to make it. And I’m so sorry because this is usually a highlight of my calendar, but not this year. See you next year. I mean, you get to if you want to and need to, and no FOMO comes in and we don’t want to miss out on all the good times. And I guess it just, if you can handle it and if everything’s going well and you don’t feel overwhelmed by it all, and you know are still thriving amongst it, it’s just such a fabulous time to be catching up with people. But I always think we do still have next year that all those, we’ve got to catch up before the end of the year. But do we actually do, I don’t know, because I really, really enjoy your company and I’m probably going to enjoy it more next year when it’s not. So there’s so much on, and this is what I’m talking about, just look for where there might be a choice. I love you, I want to see you. Let’s make a time in January or February, whatever it is.

I like being at the things I like socialising, but I also do enjoy coming at this whole time feeling as fresh as I possibly can because I’m actually here to enjoy it. I’m here to be present to it,

Not just struggling all the time. I think also, I wonder I asked in my Insta stories the other day for what people struggle with a bit at Christmas, the festive season. And I did have someone say, well, I had actually had a few people say they feel like they’ve got to do a good job and they have particularly high standards for themselves that they wish they could drop. But comparison artists kind of comes into it a bit of a keeping up with the Jones’s kind of vibe. And this is just something that we can so easily opt out of. I mean, not in high school anymore. Your worth is guaranteed because you are a human on this planet. So you are amazing. And we don’t need to get into us versus them, me versus her, my parenting versus their parenting, our Christmas versus their Christmas, nah, nah, nah, no. Where we’re at is what works for me and my family. And having the best time we possibly can for the least expense, for the least cost on your nervous system, your health, we get to choose it. So stop looking around, focus on you and your beautiful family and do it your way.

Do it your way. No one else cares what you’re doing. Quite honestly. They really don’t. And I think that that’s such an important thing to remember when you feel like you are letting people down or you are not meeting your own expectations. It’s literally your barometer that you are measuring something against. It’s not somebody else’s. Nothing is ever what it looks like from the outside. And I don’t know about you, but the more I get to know people, the more I realise that level of fakeness that’s out there, it’s just, it’s full on when you realise that oh, there’s a lot about if we can make it look good from the outside, then no one has to question the inside.

So just that’s something that I’ve figured out. If you ever come to my house <laugh>, you realise that oh well, it’s just, no there’s no picture. Perfect. Lisa lives in a glossy magazine kind of vibe going on over here. That is for sure. So look, they’re just a few different things saying no, keeping up with the routines that work for you and help you don’t double down on them. Stop comparing yourself. Setting crazy standards that are going to hurt your bank balance and health and potentially your relationships and most certainly your level of joy. And then just be conscious to filling yourself up. Feel you up. I’m talking vital foods. I’m talking nourishing connection. Not just being at events or Oh, we have to go or said yes, we better go. But just actually choose the people who you love spending time with and do that look for where you have choice, where it might feel like you don’t.

And you will change your story of Christmas. Wake up and ask yourself what you are creating every day. I mean, you can do that every day, but I’m just bringing it here for this festive month of December when things start to ramp up for lots of us, there’s no perfect way to do it. No, we are usually tired after it all because it more is expected of us this time of year. But look for where you have sweet, sweet choice amongst it all because you are literally creating your story of Christmas every single year. If you get conscious to it, if you get conscious to it, you can change the story.

So I hope that that’s helpful. I would love to hear from you. If you want to let me know if this is helpful and what your story of Christmas is going to be. I want you to keep a lookout. I’m going to get this little audio series created for you and there’s going to be a whole stack of short reminders for you in this festive season. And you can just listen to them as many times as you need. Okay? So that’s going to be coming very soon and I wish you ease and joy just like we are creating in the membership. I wish it for you out here and I hope that this was a helpful episode, reminding you to choose your story of Christmas. We get to do that now as grown adults. Big love.

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