Join Lisa LIVE for some REAL TALK on what women actually need to thrive amongst the craziness of 2022!
> JULY 27, 8:30PM AEST
ROOM TO BEATHE... Free audio series
LISTEN TO THE AUDIO TRACKS RIGHT HERE!
(or download the transcripts)
Below you'll find four audio tracks (#5 dropping tomorrow), each one outlining a simple but potent reframe that will help you claim back some (bloody!) breathing room in your life, and see where the cracks and openings might be to make some shifts where previously it’s felt like you’ve been hitting your head against the same brick wall.
Prefer to read? Access the transcripts below by clicking on each Day...
Oh welcome! Yay, let's kick this thing off. I am so glad you're here and you know what? It's not just me who's here. If you're listening to this, I want you to know, and I want you to really feel that there is a whole collective of women listening to this too, feeling exactly the same in their lives as you.
You are not alone.
It might feel really, really lonely when you are lying in your bed at night just wondering how to get out of feeling as tired as you are. Or when something else is asked of you and you just feel like throwing your hands up in the air because oh, my God, you do not have any more capacity. Maybe it feels lonely to be struggling with your health in a way that feels very personal to you.
But I'm here to say that it's not just you. You aren't alone.
There's so many of us struggling with the same things and there is strength in us coming together saying 'You know what? This is too much right now. You know what? I'm not feeling my best. You know what? I'm ready for something to change - I don't even know what that is, but it can't be this always. I'm done with this'.
It's actually a beautiful thing for us to feel connected in that way to each other so that we know when we are having those moments curled up in a ball on our bathroom floor, just thinking, how did life get this way? That we know we're not alone. I'm here to tell you you're not, and I am embracing you virtually with a really big hug.
I want to tell you about a time where it was a bit of a turning point for me, and there's a lot of similarities with what's going on or what has been going on for me personally and a lot of women that I know in 2022 and this particular moment for me. So it was back in 2017, and I had just moved our entire family down to Melbourne, we were living in Brisbane. My kids, there was one in primary school, one in kindergarten and one in daycare, my husband had had his first stint in rehab for alcohol addiction. Life had turned totally on its head. I was barely getting by. I was still working. I was running live events, online programmes. I had to find a house to live, move us all in, find schools and kinder's and electricity companies. All the things. And I ended up with shingles, which is great. And I remember my mentor at the time said that I wasn't being. I wasn't taking any responsibility for myself because I said I just don't know how to keep going. I don't know how to keep working. I don't know how to keep all of this happening. I'm so depleted. I'm so tired now I'm getting sick. I've got these sores on my face, what's happening? And then for him to tell me that I wasn't being responsible for my life...I wanted to slap him, like he understood as a man. Go away. You don't have any kids. Your wife is well, you don't know anything about my life.
And then I sat with myself and I realised that you know what? There's an element of that that's kind of true. I wasn't prioritising me at all. I wasn't taking care of my health. No one was going to do that for me. No one was gonna just come and say, 'hey, you might need to put a pause on the work stuff for a month while you get this stuff sorted. You know, you've got permission to do that right'? No one was going to come and tell me that I needed to ask for help. I mean, there was so much that I could have been doing to support myself, but I couldn't even see it. I was just in this cycle of do do do. Take care of everybody else and put Lisa at the bottom of the pile. It was a huge turning point for me, and I've realised this year that I've gotten into a real pattern of talking about the past few years. So the past few years have obviously included Covid and living in Melbourne amongst, well, what were the amongst the world's harshest and longest lockdowns, with three primary aged children who needed home schooling help and trying to run a business and also grieving the loss of my husband, who passed away in 2019 and all of that? Like we've all got stories of the last few years, right? We've all got it because we've all living through a pandemic and we've all had our own individual experiences of that, and there is fallout from that. But at some point, at some point, I needed to come back to the basics. I needed to come back to my tools. It felt boring to do that because I thought I'd done this work years ago. But I needed to come back to that concept of, well, hang on. If you're talking about still feeling depleted, if you're talking about this and that and the other and you're in that sort of zone of feeling like this is all happening to you, yeah, there's circumstances that have been really, really tough and I've given myself a lot of grace, and I needed to take responsibility for giving myself that space and not being hard on myself about being anything else in that moment. It's okay to heal. It's okay to slow down, change the pace, and it's okay to change the language and take responsibility for how this is going to move forward.
And I feel if you're here, you're ready for that too. You're ready for that moment, ready for life to feel a little bit more balanced. Maybe you're ready for a bit more connection with the world, with people, with yourself. I mean, maybe you just wanted to not feel so hamster wheel like you're running, running, running and going nowhere. And what we have to recognise is just like my mentor reminded me, hey, no one's going to come and do this for you. And that can feel heavy, that can feel really heavy. But it can also be our moment of liberation, our moment to go 'oh'. And so when I realised I could take back my personal power, step into taking some responsibility for what is and isn't feeling good right now, the first thing I did was go right back to basics. I went back to first principles, the things that helped me get through the rockiest times. And as I started doing this, I started to talk to people instead of just about the depletion which is real and which we need to acknowledge and care for ourselves around. It was like, well, what are you doing? How are you supporting yourself? And the conversations that I've had have been fascinating. I was at a get together with some mums from school a few weeks ago, and we were talking about how we're all feeling, which is strange, discombobulated, not ourselves. Not. It's not thriving, but also not terrible. We're not in lockdown anymore, so we should be okay. But something's happening here. Why aren't we okay? And someone had decided to give up coffee. So she was experimenting with food and her sleep and everything so that she didn't rely on that coffee to give her a pep through a day. Can I exist without the coffee? What might that mean? She just wanted to give herself a little shake up. Someone else was doing winter swims in the ocean a few mornings a week and loving, it loving it. Another one said, you know what? I've been feeling really resentful to my family about all that I'm doing at home. So I just decided to write up a list and say to them, this is what I expect from you now you're old enough for this, these are your jobs, that's that. And she's getting her family on board. She's doing something about her resentment. Someone else is meeting up with a friend two mornings a week to go for a walk because she said, you know, I know I need to get out more. I need to be walking more, but it's just not happening. So I know I need accountability. Brilliant.
So I wonder... This is your little task for today. If you were sitting around a table, I think this is so important to do. And you had to be honest about how you're feeling. What would you say? What would you say? And then can you imagine that there's women sitting there around you're going to say, we've got you. We see you, yeah - we feel it too. Name how you're feeling. Own it, work from that place If you feel really, really depleted. If you feel sad, if you feel frustrated, all of those things all feelings are so valid and they're aching to be recognised. Or else they just sit there simmering under the surface, don't they? We don't want that.
Name how are you feeling. Own it. It is all okay.
And then if you were sitting around that table and someone said, well, hey, if there was one thing that you could do tomorrow, that you knew would make a difference to how you felt, what's the first thing that comes to your mind? What would it be? What would it be? The first thing that comes to your mind. Just something - doesn't have to be big. Actually, the smaller the better. I would pick up and call that friend who I haven't spoken to for a while. Reach out because it's been on my mind for so long to do that. You know what I would do? I'd actually just write a list and get things out of my head. That's that's what I do. You know what I do tomorrow? I would go to bed, I'd go to bed in the nines, and I would turn my phone off and read a few pages of the book and fall to sweet sleep. That is what I would do. You know what would make me feel good tomorrow? Putting on that beautiful lipstick that I bought and never wear? Listen, it can be absolutely anything. I won't even name it and claim it and do it and I'll see you tomorrow.
Oh welcome! Yay, let's kick this thing off. I am so glad you're here and you know what? It's not just me who's here. If you're listening to this, I want you to know, and I want you to really feel that there is a whole collective of women listening to this too, feeling exactly the same in their lives as you.
You are not alone.
It might feel really, really lonely when you are lying in your bed at night just wondering how to get out of feeling as tired as you are. Or when something else is asked of you and you just feel like throwing your hands up in the air because oh, my God, you do not have any more capacity. Maybe it feels lonely to be struggling with your health in a way that feels very personal to you.
But I'm here to say that it's not just you. You aren't alone.
There's so many of us struggling with the same things and there is strength in us coming together saying 'You know what? This is too much right now. You know what? I'm not feeling my best. You know what? I'm ready for something to change - I don't even know what that is, but it can't be this always. I'm done with this'.
It's actually a beautiful thing for us to feel connected in that way to each other so that we know when we are having those moments curled up in a ball on our bathroom floor, just thinking, how did life get this way? That we know we're not alone. I'm here to tell you you're not, and I am embracing you virtually with a really big hug.
I want to tell you about a time where it was a bit of a turning point for me, and there's a lot of similarities with what's going on or what has been going on for me personally and a lot of women that I know in 2022 and this particular moment for me. So it was back in 2017, and I had just moved our entire family down to Melbourne, we were living in Brisbane. My kids, there was one in primary school, one in kindergarten and one in daycare, my husband had had his first stint in rehab for alcohol addiction. Life had turned totally on its head. I was barely getting by. I was still working. I was running live events, online programmes. I had to find a house to live, move us all in, find schools and kinder's and electricity companies. All the things. And I ended up with shingles, which is great. And I remember my mentor at the time said that I wasn't being. I wasn't taking any responsibility for myself because I said I just don't know how to keep going. I don't know how to keep working. I don't know how to keep all of this happening. I'm so depleted. I'm so tired now I'm getting sick. I've got these sores on my face, what's happening? And then for him to tell me that I wasn't being responsible for my life...I wanted to slap him, like he understood as a man. Go away. You don't have any kids. Your wife is well, you don't know anything about my life.
And then I sat with myself and I realised that you know what? There's an element of that that's kind of true. I wasn't prioritising me at all. I wasn't taking care of my health. No one was going to do that for me. No one was gonna just come and say, 'hey, you might need to put a pause on the work stuff for a month while you get this stuff sorted. You know, you've got permission to do that right'? No one was going to come and tell me that I needed to ask for help. I mean, there was so much that I could have been doing to support myself, but I couldn't even see it. I was just in this cycle of do do do. Take care of everybody else and put Lisa at the bottom of the pile. It was a huge turning point for me, and I've realised this year that I've gotten into a real pattern of talking about the past few years. So the past few years have obviously included Covid and living in Melbourne amongst, well, what were the amongst the world's harshest and longest lockdowns, with three primary aged children who needed home schooling help and trying to run a business and also grieving the loss of my husband, who passed away in 2019 and all of that? Like we've all got stories of the last few years, right? We've all got it because we've all living through a pandemic and we've all had our own individual experiences of that, and there is fallout from that. But at some point, at some point, I needed to come back to the basics. I needed to come back to my tools. It felt boring to do that because I thought I'd done this work years ago. But I needed to come back to that concept of, well, hang on. If you're talking about still feeling depleted, if you're talking about this and that and the other and you're in that sort of zone of feeling like this is all happening to you, yeah, there's circumstances that have been really, really tough and I've given myself a lot of grace, and I needed to take responsibility for giving myself that space and not being hard on myself about being anything else in that moment. It's okay to heal. It's okay to slow down, change the pace, and it's okay to change the language and take responsibility for how this is going to move forward.
And I feel if you're here, you're ready for that too. You're ready for that moment, ready for life to feel a little bit more balanced. Maybe you're ready for a bit more connection with the world, with people, with yourself. I mean, maybe you just wanted to not feel so hamster wheel like you're running, running, running and going nowhere. And what we have to recognise is just like my mentor reminded me, hey, no one's going to come and do this for you. And that can feel heavy, that can feel really heavy. But it can also be our moment of liberation, our moment to go 'oh'. And so when I realised I could take back my personal power, step into taking some responsibility for what is and isn't feeling good right now, the first thing I did was go right back to basics. I went back to first principles, the things that helped me get through the rockiest times. And as I started doing this, I started to talk to people instead of just about the depletion which is real and which we need to acknowledge and care for ourselves around. It was like, well, what are you doing? How are you supporting yourself? And the conversations that I've had have been fascinating. I was at a get together with some mums from school a few weeks ago, and we were talking about how we're all feeling, which is strange, discombobulated, not ourselves. Not. It's not thriving, but also not terrible. We're not in lockdown anymore, so we should be okay. But something's happening here. Why aren't we okay? And someone had decided to give up coffee. So she was experimenting with food and her sleep and everything so that she didn't rely on that coffee to give her a pep through a day. Can I exist without the coffee? What might that mean? She just wanted to give herself a little shake up. Someone else was doing winter swims in the ocean a few mornings a week and loving, it loving it. Another one said, you know what? I've been feeling really resentful to my family about all that I'm doing at home. So I just decided to write up a list and say to them, this is what I expect from you now you're old enough for this, these are your jobs, that's that. And she's getting her family on board. She's doing something about her resentment. Someone else is meeting up with a friend two mornings a week to go for a walk because she said, you know, I know I need to get out more. I need to be walking more, but it's just not happening. So I know I need accountability. Brilliant.
So I wonder... This is your little task for today. If you were sitting around a table, I think this is so important to do. And you had to be honest about how you're feeling. What would you say? What would you say? And then can you imagine that there's women sitting there around you're going to say, we've got you. We see you, yeah - we feel it too. Name how you're feeling. Own it, work from that place If you feel really, really depleted. If you feel sad, if you feel frustrated, all of those things all feelings are so valid and they're aching to be recognised. Or else they just sit there simmering under the surface, don't they? We don't want that.
Name how are you feeling. Own it. It is all okay.
And then if you were sitting around that table and someone said, well, hey, if there was one thing that you could do tomorrow, that you knew would make a difference to how you felt, what's the first thing that comes to your mind? What would it be? What would it be? The first thing that comes to your mind. Just something - doesn't have to be big. Actually, the smaller the better. I would pick up and call that friend who I haven't spoken to for a while. Reach out because it's been on my mind for so long to do that. You know what I would do? I'd actually just write a list and get things out of my head. That's that's what I do. You know what I do tomorrow? I would go to bed, I'd go to bed in the nines, and I would turn my phone off and read a few pages of the book and fall to sweet sleep. That is what I would do. You know what would make me feel good tomorrow? Putting on that beautiful lipstick that I bought and never wear? Listen, it can be absolutely anything. I won't even name it and claim it and do it and I'll see you tomorrow.
Hey, welcome back! Here we go for the second day. Now, I hope you did yesterday's homework. It's so, so important.
And today we kind of flip it on its head. Actually, yesterday it was all about doing something that helps you feel good, which is brilliant. And today it's all about what you can stop doing. So I'm just going to tell you a really quick little story to highlight the level of choice that we have sometimes in our lives that we don't exercise. And when I was saying that this time for me has been about going back to basics, looking for where I have choice is one of those basics, Don't you find that we just get so in the zone of doing things the way that we do them, that we kind of forget that there exists choice, when we get to exercise that Oh, hang on a minute? Well, there's an instant shift.
So let me tell you, I was running around like a mad woman one morning a few weeks ago. It was a weekend, and I mean, this is really, really sexy stuff. There was a piece of lamb that was going to go off if I didn't use it that day. And so I was racing and I was seeing my boyfriend and his kids were all going to do something together and I thought, I'll put this slam into the slow cooker and I'll add this and this and this and by the time we get back, dinner will be ready. Awesome. And um oh, God, I don't have this So I just need to raise up to the shops and I'm getting myself all stressed out and they arrive and I'm not done and I'm you know, Then I'm starting to kind of get angsty at the kids for not being ready when really it's me who's running around like a freak show, and my boyfriend says, Well, Lisa, why don't you just pop that piece of lamb into the freezer? You don't you can just freeze that and then we can just give them Toasties and cut up vegetables when we get back. Or you know what? We could get dinner when we're out, and I was like, Oh yeah, this could potentially be a lot simpler, but I'm making it out to be. Maybe I actually have a choice. I don't have to use this piece of meat today and get something in the slow cooker and stress everyone, including myself, out.
In the meantime, sometimes we need other people to help us see that we're adding stress in where we don't need to, that there's actually something we could not do that would make life feel better when so many of us are already feeling overloaded, overstretched, overwhelmed.
Where do we have a choice about some of that stuff and as it's as simple and as hard as that? So that's your task for today? Is there something you're doing literally today or tomorrow? That if you just gave yourself permission to not do that thing you looked for where you had a little bit of choice and it might not even be immediate, it might be on this weekend coming up. Or maybe it's something that you've committed to that is just a little bit much. Where does choice exist for you to say? Actually, no, I'm just going to go this simpler route, and here's the thing about asking ourselves these questions. It's like it can be an instant. Oh, that's the thing. Or you might really struggle to come up with something. And if it's the latter, please, no, that you're not alone, please. No, that so many women are living their life at a pace that allows for zero self reflection. We say we want things to be different, but we literally put no space or time in to think about what that might even be.
Yesterday's task might have been really hard for you. Hey, that's okay. It's okay. But isn't that a sign of something? Isn't it a sign of being maybe a little bit detached from yourself? It's just It's so common when life becomes about everybody else, taking care of everybody else's needs, meeting someone else's deadlines. I mean, there's so much on your plate so much. It's okay if some of these reflections feel a little bit hard. As I said, something might have come to you straight away. But if not, just just sit with yourself for just a moment. Just see what comes up. Just give yourself that gift. Hang on. Where does some choice exist for me, too say no or not do something. Is there a simpler way here? Maybe it's even to just stop a particular thought, a particular thought that you've got on loop in your head that makes life harder. You have a choice about those too. I know it doesn't feel like it all the time, but you do.
That's your little cheeky task today. How does it feel to give yourself that choice? How does it feel to take something off your plate? What would that be? And here is the thing that might come up a little bit of guilt, there will be quilt. We love guilting ourselves as women. We love saying things to ourselves like, Well, it's selfish of me to not do bla bla or I'm lazy. If I don't do blah blah, what's she or he going to think if I don't do blah blah? But what about the kids? If I don't do blah blah? You gotta breathe through this. You are not selfish for taking care of yourself and making a different choice, making your life a little bit easier. You're not letting anyone down. Everyone's going to be okay.
This is a beautiful little exercise for you in just popping your needs on the priority pile. How cool is that? You're not wrong or bad. If those feelings come up, sit with them, acknowledge them and say I'm just gonna do what Lisa suggested because I committed to this and I really want to feel different. So you know what? I'm just going to try. What is there to lose? Oh, this is a biggie for so many of us.
Enjoy the exercise and I'll be in your ear buds again tomorrow.
Yeah, All right. Are we ready for another little tool?
Little helpful hint on our path to creating more breathing room for ourselves to just find a way through that that overwhelmed that overstretched, that depletion. You know what causes a lot of this for me sometimes, and I'm not too sure if you're the same, but it's in the form of overthinking. I want to ask you, when was the last time that obsessively thinking about something over and over again gave you the answer and the clarity that you were looking for? Hm? Yeah, never. And yet we do it, don't we? We do it.
Over the years, I have created so many different solutions for overthinking. It's a big part of what I feel holds us women back, especially if you are out there listening. And you would put your hand up if I asked for the perfectionists in the room to show themselves or, you know, the incredibly high standards that so many of us have for ourselves. We can overthink the smallest things because we want to get stuff right. We don't want to let other people down here. We have standards for ourselves. for our families, a lot of things and whoa, it is tiring. When I'm feeling this, when I'm feeling the squeeze, and I know it's mostly mental. It's because I can't get to the other side of a decision or the to do list is just out of control. Got something for you on that tomorrow, or I'm going over and over something that's happened in the past, and I'm just ruminating and it's not helpful. It's keeping me feeling pretty stuck.
Well, there's something that we need to do for ourselves. It doesn't get better usually for me continuing on thinking the same thoughts, being in the same pattern, even sometimes being in the same space. So we've had part of your depletion or overwhelmed is caused by overthinking, today I just want us to brainstorm some ways in which you can move beyond that because expecting ourselves to think through all our problems with, can we just be honest with the thinking that caused those problems in the first place to see if you can wrap your head around that one. Uh, we need something to change. We need to get out of our heads and I'm going to give you a few of my go to strategies for this because getting grounded and present is just one of those fundamental basics getting back into our body, feeling our feet on the floor, feeling you know, the wind on our face quite literally can snap us out of that overthinking that we're doing that head fog. God, there's been head fog in 2022.
Yikes! Ditch that, thank you very much. So when I'm feeling the squeeze, everything's feeling hard and it's because there's a lot in my head and it's going around and around. I remember the times that I felt clear getting that clarity feeling like I've dropped a lot of that stuff. Even as I'm saying those words, can you remember those times? I mean, hello, going on holidays, getting literally out of your own space, having your senses flooded with I mean, some new accents, new smells, new places, new people. That's such a great way for me to get out of my head. But I can't go on holidays all the time. Let's be real. You know what I can do? I can put on my runners and go for a walk somewhere beautiful or just around my neighbourhood, even when it's raining. Actually, especially when it's raining. I literally can't be overthinking and in my head when I'm getting drenched. It's just one of the best ways for me to move my body.
Do you practise yoga, or do you have an exercise regime that you used to have? Or maybe you have now, but you don't use it as often as you can, like access those moments where you are fully in your body. For me, it can just even be some gentle stretching just sitting down on the floor on my bed, stretching, feeling my body getting present to what my body feels like just immediately gets me out of my head.
One of the other easiest things that I do is by playing music. If I'm feeling the head fog, if I am sick of myself, if I feel like there's no breathing room because I literally can't give it to myself, well, let me tell you, Fleetwood Mac might just pump up. So might Roxette, a bit of Billy Joel never goes astray and if you've only just met me, yep, I am very cool. I mean, talk about the years where I was enjoying punk music in my teens. Right now, it's pretty much Fleetwood Mac is where it's at, which I mean Stevie Nicks. She's my spirit animal. Anyway, I need to stay on task here. Let's see, even talking about music gets me out of my head.
I want you to think about this today. What can you do? Where can you go? What can you play? How can you move that gets you out of your head? This year, as I've been going back to basics, I realised how in my head and on a loop certain thoughts had become. And I mean, I've been teaching people this stuff for a long time. So it was tough to think like I've got to go right back to basics. What do I need to do to make this stop? Ok, firstly, I need to recognise that I'm choosing to think these thoughts over and over, and it might feel hard to stop, but hey, there's ways we can give ourselves that relief any time, any time. What are your ways? Some people just make pouring a cup of tea a beautiful, mindful, grounded moment. Be in that moment. What is it for you? Brainstorm, have them on standby.
A lot of the squeeze, a lot of the overwhelmed that we feel is happening in our heads. And we just need to go back to basics and remind ourselves that hang on, we've got a choice here. We're going to keep thinking these loopy thoughts, Or is this something that we can do to get ourselves back into our body? Give ourselves some clarity by just switching things up? That's when it will arrive.
Give it a try and I'll see you tomorrow.
Oh, it's day four, hey, how are you doing?
If you're still listening to these hey, that is really quite an achievement, so well done. I'm really glad to have you along on this ride. And I hope that what I'm suggesting is helping, helping you create a little bit of breathing room, seeing where there might be possibilities for little shifts in your life. And just at this stage, I want you to notice that what I've shared so far is not actually a prescriptive, it's suggestive, and it's also not rocket science. Have you noticed that sometimes we just need to be reminded of the basic kind of foundational concepts? I get told all the time from women who listen to my podcast or watch me on socials or join my programmes, it kind of feels like a cuppa with a friend, and it feels like, yeah, we're just having a chat about how things are. And I just remind them that maybe it might be simpler than we think to create a little shift, upgrade our lives in little ways, even just reminding that it's okay to want to do that. But the method, the how, it doesn't need to be complicated. It doesn't need to be a, you know, seven steps for this and that and the other you know, for where we're at right now. I wonder if you've been feeling almost like an immediate calming of your nervous system when you remind yourself you can make small changes that make a difference, and when it's calming to figure out that you have the ability to do it. I feel like so much of the time we're really quite activated in the stress of feeling trapped, feeling stuck, feeling overwhelmed. And it can just be this immediate release when we realise, oh actually, this is maybe easier than I thought. Maybe there is a path ahead for me here. I want you to notice the sense of possibility that comes up when we realise it can be easy. And then, on the back of that, what I hope for you is that you start to notice what becomes possible for yourself when you free yourself up a little bit, when you calm everything right down, when you create that breathing room. When you really pay attention, you can see that if you try something out as small as it is, you can feel a shift in your energy and mood and that's a powerful thing to realise. And I think for so many of us who have, you know, felt kind of hit after hit after hit after hit. There's been so much coming to us. It's been hard to find our feet. It's like, okay, we don't need to fix ourselves. We just need support to nail the basics. We just need to go back to that and then feel the possibility that opens up when we do. And I am going to be sharing more with you about how I can help you do that very, very soon. I'm really excited to support women who are interested in getting back, getting the basics back on track, applying them to the areas of their lives where it actually really makes a difference, because I'm not okay with all of us feeling depleted and overwhelmed and like there's no room to breathe.
Yeah, life can throw us certain things, but yes, there are simple ways to support ourselves through that. There's more of that coming, but today I want to share with you one of the ways in which I make getting into momentum, getting things moving, even when it feels like there's so much on top of me. And honestly, I simplicity is one of my core values. Giving life simple is where it's at for me, and I explore this basic concept in so many different areas. But I want to talk about it in terms of the to do list. Here's what I think is what I struggle with. Sometimes it's it feels like there's huge, big things that need to get done in my life, and they just feel like mountains way too high to climb. Do you ever get that that, like, we don't even get started on the things that we want or the things that are hanging over our head because we've literally made it as though we just made it too big a task?
Basically, we try to do too much. We just fluff about just with inconsequential things a lot of the time and never get to the meaty stuff or never get to the stuff that's going to make a real difference because we make it too hard. Most of us are stretched for time. Most of us just don't have endless hours and hours to, you know, research and investigate and do all that system. I mean, if you do amazing. For me, you know solo parenting, I need to move forward on things with ease and make it as simple as possible for myself to do some of the big stuff amongst in small amounts of time. So I'm going to tell you about my little concept called one A. So one A, I want you to picture it like, you know, like a list. We have point one, point two, point three, point four and each point. Each number has, like one. A one B one C one D one E one F, you could do the whole freaking alphabet times three. I don't care, but that's what we're talking about. We're talking about the one a.
So if there's something just think in your head right now, if there's something big that is kind of weighing you down, it's really squeezing you. You feel a bit heavy about it. You really know it's gotta get done or you'll feel better if it does. But it just felt like a mountain. I felt a bit like this around choosing a high school for my for my son. And it just felt like this big, huge thing. I couldn't figure out how to kind of get moving on it. It felt big on a million different levels until I found my one A. So what I do is, and you might be a great list maker. You might really enjoy getting things out of your head, but for me, it's like an essential thing to do. Because unless I see things on paper, it stays this huge big mountain. So I write out some big, chunky steps I ride out, my 1234. And so say the school's thing. One might have been, um, book school tours. But booking school tours is one thing. But for which schools like I mean, what zone am I in? Where might I move to? Am I going to stay in Melbourne, or are we going to move out of Melbourne? You know, can I can I think about private schools or is it going to be public schools like there was so much just to even do that, like investigate look up school websites. I wrote down all the little tasks as the A B, C D E f G. In order to be able to get myself to onto some school tours. Difficult also because of covid years, and a lot of school tours was not happening or happening and then getting cancelled or a bit of a nightmare. But I'm sharing that example to just show you that all I needed was my one A in order to get moving. But I couldn't do that while it just felt like a really, big choose a school for him task. I guess if you've done renovating of your home or things like that, it's probably very similar. I use this to help me declutter my house. A lot of the time. I find that the smaller I break down the tasks, the easier it is for me to get into momentum, and that gives me relief, gives me immediate relief to even just see that list.
So I wonder if there's anything that you have been putting to the side or you've been it's sitting there, it's weighing you down to clear it away or to get moving on. It would make a real difference in your life. It would give you breathing room. I encourage you to you to find your 1A. Choose something, choose a particular mountain that would have a big sort of domino effect in the rest of your life. Like it would allow other decisions to be made. Or it would free up a lot of time. Or it would change how you feel on a daily basis. What is that thing? And then write down some big chunks. 1234 and then break those chunks into chunks and find your 1A. What is something that you could do once you've got this list and I really encourage you to do it as soon as you can. Don't put this off. Doesn't have to be perfect like, really you honestly just need like you don't have to find the perfect 1A.
Just give yourself permission to have a crack at this without needing it to be perfect and then get it done. One thing, you're one a how might it feel to you to be in momentum around it? I encourage you to have a little think, put some stuff down on paper and then experience the feeling of relief as you know, I can see a little bit of a plan here. We can keep life simpler than it is right now. All it requires is just choosing to keep it simple, learning a few little tools sometimes or reminding ourselves, as I said in the beginning, that this can be easier than we think. All of that head junk going, spinning around and around and around. You can make a choice for that to feel like it's dissipating, like it's it's got somewhere to be. It doesn't have to be in your head anymore, use pen and paper. Whenever I am feeling overwhelmed by tasks or like there's things that I'm just not getting around to, I find my one A and I get moving.
Have fun with that, of course, follow your 1A by doing the one B, that goes without saying right. I'll see you tomorrow.
Yeah, it is the final day of a room to breathe experience. I wonder how you're feeling.
I want you to just notice a few things with me here. Um, isn't it cool when we realise that it's not impossible to have the thing that we want and what a relief it can be to go. Oh, yeah, This can't be easy. It's not impossible to create some breathing room. That's what you said. Like you register for this. Could you like, yes, help me Lisa with this and you've just been given a few really, really simple ways? But you know what you've also done just even listening to them. If you're still listening to this fifth audio, that's amazing. That's a gift that you've given yourself. You just focused on yourself in new ways. Whether you've done whatever I've suggested or not, it doesn't actually matter. What matters is how you're feeling in yourself. And here's the thing. It's not impossible to create breathing room, but it's most likely that your focus has not been on creating breathing room. It's been focused on the squeeze and how hard everything feels. Can you see how does shifting your attention to what's possible, as opposed to what feels really hard is a massive shift in itself? It's most likely that it's not impossible to create breathing room, but if your focus is never on yourself, then you'll never make a shift.
Without a doubt, it's undeniable that there is a fallout from the last few years and that many women are feeling more tired and more overwhelmed than usual. And there's sort of been blow after blow after hit after what the heck. And yet, even amongst all that, even if we know that even if we know there is this fallout, even if we know we're not feeling our best, we continue on in exactly the same way. Somehow expecting things will magically change. Yeah, like we keep expecting the same things from ourselves, even when we can't deliver it. Can you see how nuts that is, how so much angst is wrapped up in that and how it also keeps us in this perpetual cycle of waiting for everything out there to be cool and smooth and predictable so that we can feel that. But that's not how it happens. Things don't just magically change out there and then you get delivered the peace, the rest, the pleasure that you are craving. Sometimes we need to commit in new ways to our own inner transformation because for sure, we can't actually control what's happening on the outside. And I think where a lot of women have felt stuck this year is that we've just kept waiting to be delivered the magic pill and anything outside of the essentials to just keep life ticking over has felt really, really hard. It's felt like an extra we just cannot do. And I really get that. I've really had to go back to basics with myself. And while creating the breathing room was kind of the first step, I had to remind myself that there's just some core foundational basics that if I could just go back to them basic principles, basic tools that I use for my life and apply them to the areas of my life that really, really make a difference, every day to how I feel, then that would pretty much revolutionised what I'm feeling right now. But it was only when I decided it could be simple for me to do that, that it didn't actually add anything extra that allowed me to start the process. And I want to remind you of this, too.
What if more of what you want is actually simpler to get than you think. What if it didn't require too much of you but freed up so much more of you? What if that version of you that's drowning under it all has a chance to surface? What if she's right there? And you just need to give her a chance to find her feet again? What if all the old ways of punishing ourselves because we're not where we want to be or were not being who we should be a just freaking let go? What if we stop fighting the reality of our lives and wishing it away and instead create changes from exactly this place? I mean, what are you focusing on pleasure and rest, and simplifying things was actually the key. Could it be? I have explored this with myself over the last few months, and I'm here to tell you for freaking sure it can be. I mean, could you allow the next step of uh huh upgrading, to feel easy and fun. I mean, is it time to get honest with yourself? How long do you want to stay in this place? Is it time to start to nail the basics and see improvement in areas of your life that have just felt sticky, muddy, heavy.
I want you to sit with something today. Your simple task today is to just ponder a question. I want you to ponder the question, What do I want? And when I ask you that, I wonder, does an answer easily come to you or do you struggle with that? Either way, it's totally fine. I have struggled with what do I want question? Because I sort of thought that there might have to be a right answer. This is something. There's some big thing that I should want, and it's going to lead me in a direction, and I should be thinking about what I want five years down the track and be taking steps towards that right now. Oh, my God, no, no, that's not what I want you to do here. That's that's not where we're at at this stage. I don't think I think we're actually in a stage of recalibration, healing. We are absolutely evolving into what we're not too sure. And so that's why the answers have to be a little bit more immediate. The question has to be brought into the present. What do you want right now, right now? And when you start to ponder this question and as I said, it's okay if it's actually hard for you to come up with an answer for that because most of the time I bet you're spending your time thinking about what everyone else wants and needs. And if it's been a while since you've asked yourself what you want, that's okay. Give yourself permission to just explore it, in your mind with a cuppa, on a walk, whatever.
When we ask ourselves, what do I want right now, then we have to get honest with ourselves and ask, Am I actually going, am I actually taking genuine steps towards this? Because if not here, we stay harsh. But true. One thing that I've learned so much over the last few years growing and I guess, evolving beyond the life that existed a couple of years ago, is that when I, when we as women lead let our desires let our desires lead us, even when we just stopped to consider them, we can honestly revolutionise our lives and and it doesn't have to be hard. It just doesn't. So many of us are so out of touch with that. I know I was. And amongst all the craziness of this year in the past few years, it's so easy for that to fall off the agenda. And yet it's kind of like our secret weapon. We can create life, and we are hugely powerful beings. Look at what you're managing every single day. Imagine if portion of that was just was focused on you and what you desire and making your life as the individual woman that you are better. And here is where the problem is. It's not that you don't know this stuff. It's not that you don't have the answers inside you. It's that it is so easy for that focus to be lost amongst the competing demands of our lives. We lose ourselves amongst it all, and then we think it's got to be really, really hard to get back on track because we are so mean to ourselves when we feel like we're off track. I mean, what is on and off track anyway? It's just one big life. It's always moving and changing. We spend all our time in our heads mostly thinking about other people and fulfilling obligations, and we forget to gently place our attention on ourselves and where it makes the biggest difference. I think if you look around so much about habit, change or lifestyle change, it can feel really hard and, like you have to give up heaps of stuff in order to be able to make some shifts. And I'm here to tell you that that's just not true.
There's a different way, and I have a brand new experience available for women who are looking to keep themselves front and centre for a little while. Believe me, that doesn't mean everything around you is going to crumble. This experience is for women who are done with the status quo and done waiting for everything to get cool in the world, in their relationship, with their kids in order to start focusing on themselves. For women who are looking to make simple upgrades to their lives, that actually make a real difference to how they feel. I guess it's for women who want out of survival mode and to find their spark again. And I'm going to be explaining all about this when I share some real talk with you.
So I want you to make sure to commit to watching that, because I'll be breaking down things that we women actually need to thrive. Let's cut out the crud. Let's cut out the superfluous stuff. Let's cut out the expectation that we can completely upend our lives while we start to improve it. I know these things might surprise you, and you'll definitely walk away with a much clearer sense of your next steps. I will see you there.
And until then, what do you want? Amazing woman. What do you want? I would love to know. Thanks for joining me. And I hope you are feeling like you've got a bit more room to breathe. See you soon
About me
Lisa Corduff
Hey! I’m Lisa. I’m a Solo Mum of 3, Business Owner, Podcaster, and Writer. I’ve worked with women for the past ten years to help them get unstuck and create real, lasting change in their lives. I’m all about simple, uncomplicated, DOABLE stuff, because that’s what freaking works. If that sounds good to you too, you’re in the right place, and I’m so glad you’re here.